Zero chance of your fish going in the freezer

There are many questions surrounding the decline in salmon numbers. John does not profess to have any answers. River gossip centres on the different associations approach to hatching policies that in turn impact on the restocking of rivers, the rumours that seals gobble up anything that does manage to get back down to the sea and that again seals may be

Eating a good amount of what is trying to get up as well. The only known fact is that the numbers caught are dropping. Still he is going up again in June so things can't be that bad.

I have been with John once on this March jolly to the Borders. In fact my secret thoughts are that it is actually nothing at all to do with fishing.

This one really is a boy's own trip. Each man goes laden with cakes and pies baked by devoted wives. Including John surprisingly.

Plus red wine and whisky for sustenance. Steaks, chops, large roasting joints, a big piece of boiled ham and then mashed potatoes are the prime items on the menu. I don't think vegetables figure largely here. Certainly not for John. Do not be thinking healthy eating is a prime concern.

The main focus of the evenings after a day out on the river is to eat and drink themselves into cosy oblivion in front of a roaring fire. No wonder it takes them so long to answer the phone.

So their evenings, when anyone is awake, are spent reminiscing on the ones that did not in fact get away, but were never there to get caught in the first place.

Even if you were allowed to keep any fish that you catch on the river, the fish John caught, a kelt, is inedible.

This is a salmon that will have come up last year, spawned probably in December and was working it's way back to the open sea. With all the melt water and rain the river is currently flowing pretty quickly back to sea and helping to take the kelt with it.

The kelts will not have fed since they came into the system and so lose a lot of condition.

There are a lot of complicated rules about putting fish back, which when combined with the fact that there are hardly any to catch, means you have zero chance of putting your own fish in the freezer.

Better to go to your local fish merchant. I did come across some smoked salmon in the bottom of our freezer that John had caught and had smoked about four years ago.