Happy 3rd birthday Menshare Listening Group

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We are proud to say we are three years old as a Men's Support Group. Since then hundreds of men have walked through our doors and with their words not ours we have “changed and also saved their lives”.

We have since expanded into two other communities East Grinstead, Horley alongside Crawley and the vision is to expand further.

“The group was created in memory and honour of one of Crawley's special men Mike Dobie (who died through suicide) and with the blessings from his wife Pauline Dobie and support from Christine Amanda and my wife Lise Orr we were born," said founder, Sean Orr.

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“We could not of done this without the special support from the Volunteers, Our partners, Crawley Council, Crawley Community Action and local organisations who support our work”.

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There can be fear or hesitation that opening up, especially to another man will expose one's failure because they were not able to hold it together and “man up.”

Others may relate sharing their feelings and “being emotional” as something only the opposite sex or weak do and therefore do not talk.

When stressed, guys tend to withdraw into their “cave”, becoming quiet and withdrawn. Some men reduce stress by forgetting about problems and focusing on other things, preferring to avoid talking until they feel ready, only for a ‘trigger’ to manifest those problems resulting in outcomes unhelpful to the man.

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Society often stresses that men need to be the strong, central role models everyone can turn to in times of need and support. Expressing one’s feelings in the company of other men is often perceived as a sign of weakness or results in being picked on and teased by friends and peers because it is not considered “masculine.”

In this case, the social constructs suggest that men who cry or openly express emotions display weakness, and this causes men to avoid sharing their problems with others and instead attempt to handle their feelings on their own.

Actually the strength of a man is to confront these feelings and we at MSLG put a heavy emphasis on being able to discuss in confidence, without judgements and in the safety of a circle; where other men relate and share experience to let other men know they are not alone and it’s okay to talk.

Where shared knowledge and experience can bring relief, guidance and ease to the man. So they are not fatigued or suffocated and drowning in a sea of poor mental health, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and addictions used to numb pain.

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If you are a man in need and wish to come and talk and be part of a community and make friends and be part of something then do not be afraid or overthink, come and see us and unload all what you have carried for such a longtime.

Our circle times and venues below.


You can email: [email protected] or call 07508 336 995 for more details.

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