Navigating dementia care for a loved one can present emotional and physical challenges as Terry discovered, after his wife Cherry was diagnosed with dementia at just 60 years old. The couple turned to Haviland House, Guild Care’s dedicated dementia nursing care home in Goring-by-Sea, so Terry could ensure his wife received the support she needed.

Dementia affects not just memory but all aspects of daily life, requiring increasing levels of care over time. At first, Terry managed Cherry’s care at home while balancing the demands of running his own business. However, as her needs grew, so did the strain.

“We were up three times a night, and I was still running my business,” said Terry. Though devoted to Cherry, he found the role of primary caregiver could be overwhelming. “It was the fatigue – ‘I care, but I’m not a carer’ sums up how I feel.”

Evenings and nights were particularly difficult. Over time, even simple outings became too challenging, leading to long weekends spent indoors. Seeking help, Terry started taking Cherry to regular daytime sessions at Haviland House Day Services, part of Guild Care’s dementia care in Worthing. These sessions provided Cherry with engaging activities and gave Terry some respite. Despite this support, the increasing demands of 24/7 care at home made the difficult decision for full-time residential care inevitable.

“How I go to visit now is as a husband, not a carer. We hold hands and enjoy being together. All of a sudden, you’re back as a couple,” said Terry, whose wife Cherry is now happily settled into Haviland House which provides tailored care to meet her needs.

Having already experienced respite stays at Haviland House, Cherry moved in permanently. Now, she enjoys art, crafts, music, and visits from therapy dogs – and a range of activities tailored to meet her needs. For Terry, the transition has allowed him to regain balance in his own life while still sharing special moments with Cherry.

“How I go to visit now is as a husband, not a carer. We hold hands and enjoy being together. All of a sudden, you’re back as a couple,” said Terry. “You feel horrendous guilt, but I see her now at Haviland House and know that it was really the right thing to do.”

How finding the right dementia care home made all the difference for Worthing couple