The unnamed chain...called Starbucks

Macchiato means "marked" in Italian. It is more proof of why we need to use the Italian lingo - see what we did there? - because some stuff just sounds so much more appealing when it's not translated.

You can have an Espresso Macchiato (coffee marked with milk) or a Latte Macchiato (milk marked with coffee), so there's quite a big difference in taste; the former is really strong and small; the latter is really weak and massive. And you must now agree that both sound terrible in English.

Surely, simple menu annotation would prevent any confusion? Yes, that would be true, if it weren't for a certain chain.

Without naming names (Starbucks), we are being incorrectly educated, creating disappointment with every Macchiato ordered anywhere except in that nameless chain.

The Seattle-based coffee company has created the abomination that is the Caramel Macchiato. Their wonderful command of the Italian language has convinced them that the word Latte is apparently unnecessary in this sacrilegious concoction's moniker.

Cue hoards of laptop-wielding 20-somethings expecting giant mugs of milk with a dash of coffee, a mountain of cream, and a drizzle of inverted cane sugar.

We don't have a Macchiato on our menu, but we'll make you an Espresso Macchiato, if you like. If you'd like a caramel-based beverage, with little to no caffeine content, but the opportunity to look like you're having a grown-up drink, when you are actually downing a pint of milk and your entire daily sugar allowance, pay a visit to that anonymous chain.