Going from bad to verse

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THERE must be a host of people who could write to Rouser with some newly thought-out limericks of a local flavour. Here are some East Sussex limericks of the past:

l A gardener out at Hurst Green

Grew a marvellous kind of French bean.

The judge at the show

Said: ‘I really don’t know

Where a Frencher French bean can be seen’.

l A musician who lived at Hoathly

All rules of his art would defy;

And cacophonies wrote,

Upon which he would dote,

Till his neighbours compelled him to fly.

l A journalist living at Chailey

Had a style that was quite Daily-Maily:

He great renown gained

And credit obtained

For reports of the trials at Old Bailey.

l A certain old cleric of Glynde

To ritual was very inclined,

So he incensed his church,

But was left in the lurch,

By a parish which lagged far behind.