Al-Anon there for you

Alcohol can ruin your life - and you don't even have to be a drinker.

It is estimated that one in every five adults in the UK now abuses alcohol but what is hardly ever discussed is the impact on family and friends

If a family member, partner, work colleague or friend drinks too much then you might need help and support just as much as they do, according to Al-Anon.

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Al-Anon family groups meet across Britain to support people close to those with an alcohol problem - locally we have a group meeting in Bexhill, a daytime and evening group in Hastings, and another in Eastbourne, all of which are available to anyone who gets in touch via the national helpline.

The meetings are a source of help, encouragement and shared experience, and provide those attending with the strength to decide better how cope with an alcoholic.

Al-Anon has existed for 50 years, having been set up by the wife of the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous for the benefit of families and loved ones, and also adheres to a Twelve Step programme. In a non-professional and friendly environment, members are able to share their experience and hope with one another, gaining insight into their common problems and learning how best to improve the quality of their lives, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

Admittance at Al-Anon Family Group meetings is free and members protect their anonymity so that there is freedom to open up and discuss problems in total confidentiality, and share their feelings in safety.

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Al-Anon Family Groups are also not affiliated with any outside organisation, are non-religious, non-polictical and multi-racial.

The organisation is not as well known as AA but members hope that is about to change with a two week awareness campaign in the last week of January and the first week of February, both nationally and on a local level,

A Bexhill member said: "I actually found Al-Anon in Adnews - it was listed in the What's On section. I was looking for things my alcoholic and I could do together - that was before I realised I had the problem. But I immediately found there was empathy in the room with the other people there. It was a great relief to be able to talk to people who actually understood. I had talked to other close friends before and they could not comprehend what I was really saying - which made it difficult. I had been aware of stuff that was wrong at home but I made the classic mistakes in trying to cope with it.

"Alcoholism - it is a huge elephant in the living room. People can see there is irrational behaviour in the home and yet there is so much denial that the alcoholism is causing it or contributing greatly to it.

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"I have learned to love the alcoholic...but hate the disease.

"I hate what it is doing to us and what it has done to our relationship. But life is better because now I have the tools to build my life. What is more, I have people I can talk with confidentially - whatever is said in the meeting room is not discussed anywhere else."

The problem is not always with a partner or family member or friend - it can sometimes be at work as another member found.

She said: "I was absolutely hairless - paralysed by worry. I probably became physically ill, I was just so worried in all aspects of life in terms of working, living, the legalities. Then it became apparent I knew someone who was a member of Al-Anon and I went from there.

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"Alcoholism is such a complicated emotional illness. It strikes me many people that drink have huge problems apart from drinking."

Another member commented: "In my home my life had become unmanageable. I was troubled by someone else's drinking and I needed to get help for myself. Al-Anon had already been mentioned to me...I certainly didn't have trouble finding the contact number. Now we need to raise the Al-Anon profile - we need to become as quickly thought of as AA.

"You can get help from Al-Anon so you can learn the tools to recovery for yourself."

The helpline number to find help and local meetings is 020 7403 0888, open 10am-10pm daily.