Mrs Down's Diary

"I'VE left my boiler suit in front of the washing machine" John said "It's just covered in clarts from chasing that cow that's just calved round the yard."

It is of course a known physical and mental impossibility for men to make that link that opening the washing machine door, putting in the garment, adding the washing powder and turning a dial produces a clean garment with little effort.

The cow in question has lost her ear tag just prior to calving. The new calf also has to be tagged but the number on the mother's ear tag has to be recorded for a cattle passport to be issued for the new calf.

Sign up to our daily SussexWorld Today newsletter

She, the cow has two tags, but the one still in her lug was covered in the aforesaid clarts and anyway printed in numbers so small as to be impossible to read unless in close proximity to the cow. Which she was not permitting.

John had earlier asked if I would help him walk the cow into the crush so he could confine her and read the number off the remaining tag with the pair of binoculars he refers to as his glasses. He was a late convert to wearing reading specs.

For full feature see West Sussex Gazette February 4