Fairlight

• How happy is a Sandbag…? We should know by now, with two of the five performances of Happy As A Sandbag already played, leaving one this evening and two tomorrow to come. Tickets for the Players’ production of this stirring World War II revue have been going strong, and there may not be that many remaining by now. Do try, though – they’re only £6 each from the Post Office, or by phone to Carol in 814178 if you are unable easily to get over to the village from outside during the day, or in person on the door, which might be a bit risky.

• Eight lives left…? Reports such as last week’s concerning a missing white Birman cat do not always have a happy outcome. But Sue and Peter Norris have been able to breathe sighs of relief when their pet returned, a little bedraggled and a little thinner, last weekend. It really does pay, if there’s notice of an animal that can’t be found, to have a quick look in your sheds and outbuildings to make sure you haven’t inadvertently locked some poor creature in after it has nipped in when you weren’t looking.

• Eight days to go… to the Residents’ Association’s spring dance and supper on Saturday, April 20 in the village hall from 7.30pm. The £5 tickets are available from the Post Office, but the organisers would like you to have booked by this Sunday, April 14 so they can get the catering numbers right. A quick call to either Joyce Grant, on 814742, or Lyn Mosley, on 812144, will do the trick. Don’t forget – you’ll need to take your own drinks and glasses.

• The Tuesday Ladies Club’s summer outing… is to Newnham Court Shopping Centre near Maidstone on June 25. There are not many places remaining to be filled, so phone Mary Stewart on 813031. The outing will cost you £6.50 for the coach, leaving the Circle at 10.30 am, after calling at Scollays at 10.15 am, and afterwards at Knowle Road at 10.35 am. You’ll leave the Centre at 3.0 pm for your return.

• Music of the highest quality… at St Andrews at 7 pm on Saturday, July 6, when the celebrated pianist Valerie Tryon will be playing a recital. Tickets, priced at £16, are extremely limited in number, and you are advised to secure yours early from the Post Office, or if you would like to pay by cheque, by post to G Wyatt, 33 Lower Waites Lane, Fairlight, TN35 4AX. Make your cheque payable to Fairlight PCC, as the proceeds are going to the upkeep of the crumbling fabric of our main place of worship.

• On Saturday, April 20, there’s a coffee morning in aid of the Royal British Legion, from 10am to 12noon in the village hall. It’s called a Who/What/Where morning. A good shot of coffee will ensure your brain-power has a boost ready for the questions!

• The Village Hall spring trestle sale is coming up in the hall on Saturday, April 27, from 10 am to 12 noon. Get you trestle booked now, which you can do by calling either Brenda on 813113 or Val on 814753 to stake your claim.

• Saturday, April 20 is a busy day with events in the village, and here’s another one. There’s a garage sale and car Wwsh on that day at Activate Clubhouse commencing at 2pm. Go along, find a bargain or two, get the car washed and… enjoy a cuppa!

• The Parish Assembly is next Friday, April 19 at 6.30pm in the Village Hall. The Assembly is a meeting of all Fairlight residents, not of the Parish Council, but there will be a chance to meet your councillors and raise matters of interest. There will be short presentations by local organisations, including the Community Responders. Our MP, Amber Rudd, says she means to be there. All parishioners are very welcome and there will be light refreshments. If you are new to the village, this should be a good introduction to village life and a chance to meet others.

• The new Hastings Country Park Ranger is Julie Apps, and she will be at the Country Park Information Centre tomorrow, Saturday, April 13, at 10.30am, for a walk with visitors, which is scheduled to last until to 12.30pm. If you’re not a Friend of Hastings Country Park, it’ll cost you £2 to go along. Do your best get there to meet Julie. If nobody turns up, it would be terrible to think she was to become the Lone Ranger!

• Pothole of the week… is a bit of a cheat, as the selected item is not in the village, and is not actually a pothole. It is, however, a major bone-shaker, and it is to be found when you leave Fairlight and go onto The Ridge, at the first painted bus stop area. There is what can only be described as a doke, which is dialect for a depression or indentation, which is very hard to spot but so deep and broad that it is a sinkhole in embryo, almost ready to swallow a bungalow or, in this case, a bus. It won’t be long in achieving its evil aim!

• A Sussex number puzzle… it’s difficult for incomers to come to terms with the counting facility of local drivers. Judging by their efforts in Fairlight, they seem to think numbers go 10, 20, 40, 50, 30! And incidentally, I wonder if you saw the news that motor manufacturer Pratina, a subsidiary of the renowned, giant Italian Fiat company, has taken over the universal production of all white vans. This means that, should you see one being driven badly or speeding around inappropriately in future, it will probably be a Pratina white van.

Keith Pollard, Brookfield, Broadway