Fundraiser for Bexhill Autism group

But sometimes we need a little more - if you have an autistic child you'll know the value of support and friendship from other parents who understand and have experienced what it is you go through.

This is the aim of the Bexhill Branch of the National Autistic Society - the group is holding a coffee morning next Saturday at Beulah Baptish Church to raise funds and awareness, and provide a link to anyone who wants to know more.

One of its members is Caroline Streatfield who joined a year ago and relishes the opportunity to mix with other parents and relax without the worry of her son being judged by other people.

Joe is four years old and this year will start as a pupil at Torfield in Croft Road, Hastings, having been cared for full-time by dad Will.

Caroline, of Mountjoy in Battle, said: "He has always been very active even as baby. He used to scream.

"When he was two-and-a-half and started at nursery, they said he hadn't a lot of eye contact and his language was not what it should be.

"Will always thought he would get diagnosed at school but I didn't really think there was a problem.

"Our daughter Tessa is so placid - I thought he was just being a boy, and they were all like that. A lot of friends and family didn't believe he was autistic either. Then I went on the Internet, which was not a wise thing to do, and saw all these symptoms - walking on tiptoes, jumping up and down a lot, having obsessions, all which Joe did.

"Joe was obsessed with Thomas The Tank Engine - I would say that 70 percent of his language was from Thomas scripts. He would just keep saying what he heard on Thomas, but that is a good sign because it shows he can say words. A lot of children can't talk at all, but he copies words straight back to you."

He was diagnosed with autism at the age of two-and-a-half which Caroline and her husband found reassuring in that it was a first step towards getting some help for Joe.

"That is what we were expecting them to say. It was not a shock. Obviously we'd had him all this time and we knew. Getting diagnosed was the key to getting help.

"But it is devastating - it is not what you plan when you have a baby, and you are then on a totally different course to other children of that age.

"We have spent a lot of time just trying to talk to him. You can't just try and talk to him which you're cooking dinner, you have to sit with him face to face, and say his name, so it's - Joe, would you like to go to the park? Then he will pick up on the word 'park'.

"The fact Will is with him all the time has really helped. He has bonded a lot more with him, and he has put a lot of effort into trying to help his skills, such as walking. He would never walk anywhere, so we are walking to the end of the road, holding his hand, and trying to increase it. Joe has no sense of danger, he would just run right into the road, he would try and run off, and he would pick everything up off the floor and put it in his mouth. It's just trying to control that.

"With toy cars he used to bite the wheels off. When I picked him up from other people's houses I'd always say I knew Joe had been there..."

Since joining the Bexhill Branch of the National Autistic Society they have found support and contact they needed. There are currently 15 families at the branch, with children from a wide range across the autistic spectrum.

"It's very hard to take them places where there is other children because you don't know how they will react. Joe has sensory problems where something might be too loud and he would start hitting out and things.

"The group is good. They have play sessions at Glyne Gap where there is a limited amount of children, and all the parents know the children can be unpredictable, and you are all watching out for each other - it is very different, that support. Talking to other parents that have children a bit older than Joe, and they say - oh yes, it was exactly like that before mine went to school...That's one of the best things. It is much better than professional support. Although the professionals have read all about it, until you have lived with it 24/7 you can't understand."

Life is never easy and Caroline admits it is difficult to go out as a family - they went away recently but came back a day early "just to get some sleep."

"You can never relax. He can never be left in a room - he always has to be supervised. We went on holiday a month ago and he just would not sleep. He was running around until half past midnight. We didn't get any time to relax.

"He doesn't sleep in a bed - he sleeps on floorboards. He likes the hard feel of it because of his sensory problems. It is quite shocking. I have tried him with a mattress and he just throws it around the room.

"I get fed up. I think - this isn't fair, why do we have to have this extra stress? But then I think there is worse...some children have autism as well as other disabilities, and that would be worse.

"So now I want people to come and support us, I want to highlight how autism affects families. You can't do anything on the spur of the moment, just go somewhere you haven't been before. Joe just throws himself on the floor, and that's it. You get everyone looking at you because they think it is just a behaviour problem."

The group's coffee morning takes place in Clifford Hall, Beulah Baptist church, on Saturday May 9 from 10-12. Donations of cakes and bric-a-brac would be appreciated - please contact Kathy Hutchings on 01424 732412.