Get it right on Valentine's Day

Martin Riley knows - he's Bexhill's relationship expert who knows what makes men tick and has plenty of suggestions to make February 14 sizzle.

He comments: "There's a reason why men will often buy sexy underwear for their partner for Valentine's Day.

"It's not because it's what they think their partner wants but because they want to send a clear message about what they themselves want '“ to keep their relationship sexy and passionate.

"Women need to indulge their partners and play to their fantasies. Sure, you might want to do the whole roses, dinner and romance thing but make sure your man knows that he's going to get what he's looking for too '“ tease and tantalise him and by all means make him wait '“ but make sure that meal out is the longest three hours of his life for the right reason.

"If he skips dessert for the first time ever, you know you've got him going."

Here are Martin's top tips for women looking to make sure their man doesn't end up dreading Valentine's Day every year:

"Valentine's Day has somehow become seen as a day when a man has to make a big romantic gesture to this wife or girlfriend. Try turning the tables. Send him flowers, take him out for dinner, or buy him something that fulfils your fantasies (be warned though, it'll need to be something that makes him feel sexy, not stupid. He may never talk to you again if you buy him a mankini).

"Most men will be delighted by you taking the lead and making him feel appreciated and desired."

"When was the last time you asked your partner what he wanted from your relationship? A lot of men struggle to articulate what they want and need from a relationship so will try to let their presents do the talking. Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to actually ask him what he wants, both from you and from your life together. Pillow talk is a great opportunity to get him to open up.

"Don't rely on 'bought experiences' like meals out or presents to make this Valentine's Day the romantic day of your dreams. A home cooked meal can be far more romantic than a restaurant full of other couples trying to be romantic. How about a meal in bed together?

"Use your imagination to have the Valentine's Day that suits the two of you, not what the shops tell you should be having.

"If your man isn't that interested in sex (and a surprising number of men aren't as obsessed as you might think) then the key would be to think about what he loves doing that you could surprise him with. Is there anything he loves to do that you're normally reluctant to do with him? He'll be thrilled if you suggest or organise it so perhaps go to a football match together, see a band or go for a romantic walk around his favourite places."

Martin, who moved to Bexhill six years ago, has been working in the leadership coaching industry for 14 years but increasingly found himself working as much on clients' personal lives as on their professional lives.

This led him to develop a coaching programme specifically for those looking to work on different types of relationships including marriage and divorce, family relationships and professional relationships. The majority of his clients are from Sussex.

His advice has appeared in national newspapers and magazines, he works with couples and single people with all kinds of relationship dilemmas and problems including marriage issues, giving help moving on after divorce, meeting new people and also other relationships such as parents and children, professional relationships or issues with inter-personal skills. Martin is unusual in having more than 50 per cent men in his client base.

For more information, visit www.martin-riley.co.uk