Late summer madness on the lawn

The public doesn't so much visit as spectators as take part as involuntary participants - or should that be victims?

The sheer unpredictability of the thing is part of the attraction of Jour de Fete, an infectious combination of comedy, live music, street theatre, spectacle, illusion, mime and - above all - fun.

Take The Spurting Man, for example. On comes his straight-man, poker-faced but, without a word uttered, so expressive that kids do his bidding without question. His is the protracted build-up act for the arrival of The Spurting Man.

The whole contrivance is so long-winded but so droll that by the time the spurting starts it comes as a surprise.

A sip of water is transformed into a leaking wrist. A strategically-placed scallop shell prevents the act descending into indecency for by its climax our hero is a one-man water feature.

Not a guy to stand down-wind of on a day like Sunday when Bexhill treated the performers to one of its famed sou-westers.

Dennis Rollins' Boneyard is a band so novel - but so effective - in its line-up that fellow professionals marvel at its audacity.

No fewer than eight trombonists team with sousaphone and drums. It works - but only because of talent that allows trombones to take the place of trumpets.

Watch behind you!

It's Swank, Cherie and Suzette pouncing on the unwary to slap on something entirely inappropriate from their mobile make-up trolley.

Does the man with the bald pate object to the cheeky little toupee they've plastered on him?

Not if he has any sense, for the crowd would only laugh all the louder.

Laughter rippled over the pavilion lawns faster than the sou-wester could whisk it away. Were The Twins really born joined at the funny-bone or are they Fallen Angels doomed to an existence of perpetual mischief.

The crowds loved their antics during a weekend that included Rolling News from the Dot Comedy news desk, gave local young bands an salt-sprayed local airing, saw Hoodwink play Tick Tock with their own clock tower - and much more.

Monday's kinder sunshine saw bigger crowds enjoy Avanti Display in a side-splitting tea-for-two routine. Brighton-based band The Matzos set feet tapping with rhythms from eastern Europe - and those twins coerced an unsuspecting duo into attempting a male version of their act.

What do they say in the Army - NEVER volunteer!