Nik Butler: Watching the soap opera dramatics of local politics

Thankfully none have been found and there is no evidence of a mysterious older gentleman walking around with an air of authority and a blank scrap of paper from which he professes his credentials.

However by all accounts it does seem that there is a general belief that Horsham may have been dropped back to a previous century.

Is it supposed to be living the life of a 1940s housewife? Horsham is expected to avoid upsetting its pretty little head with questions about how civil roles, such as the chairman’s, are handled.

Horsham is discouraged from understanding council procedures or what their annual customs are. Horsham, like any proper housewife of a more archaic era, should straighten its pinafore and get back to the sink and do its best to ensure that supper and respite are delivered to the hard working gentlemen who do the difficult things like making decisions and planning for their future.

Never mind ‘Woman know your place’ - it’s ‘Horsham, know your place’!

Have the council forgotten the lesson? ‘You can push; you can shove; but Sussex won’t be druv’. Maybe some kindly editor can dig out a reference for them from a previous edition of the West Sussex County Times.

Still I guess since the electorate cannot be constrained by a three line whip or encouraged to voice its concerns in private confessional. Sorry, I did of course mean private surgeries. Then it is a matter of encouraging everyone to join a game of three card monte with their attention over local government issues. Therefore if its good enough for American TV shows, it’s good enough for this column.

Previously on Horsham District: A preferred strategy to deliver new housing and offices in the North of Horsham is met with loud protest and overly-controlled council meetings. Meanwhile a district councillor loses his presumptive candidacy as council chairman as new definitions of democracy are twisted more than sugar on a taffy machine. Finally employment and rates are lost as another central Horsham employer ejects its investment and interests in the town.

Horsham District is however no housewife caught watching soap opera drama of local politics. It is a collective of individuals raised on the Sussex diet of determination and rebellion; Horsham Suffrage is up for discussion.