Too blue for me, thanks

I read Mr Blue, the Tree frog’s letter, in last week’s Observer, and think he is treating my marital requirements in a rather toadying manner. To start with, I need to know a lot more about him, such as which branch he comes from, before I ‘bough’ to his amoral demands. In any case, although I may be desperate, I don’t want to spend my honeymoon up a tree, especially with an American with sticky feet!. I get a ‘pine’ just thinking about it. No Mr Blue, I’m afraid you’re barking up the wrong tree this time, but in case I’m wrong just give me a trunk call.