Santa's in town

For a store of their size, I would have thought the Debenhams management would have made more of an effort and built Santa some kind of grotto, with a couple of elves thrown in, at which the children could have excitedly queued up to get in.

I can still remember joining such a queue at Walter Brothers in 1967, a memory that will probably never leave me.

I wonder how many people will miss Santa on his makeshift throne in the middle of a very small toy department, on their way to get to the coffee shop?

Strictly no show

STRICTLY Come Dancing Laila Rouass's no show at the Grand Hotel on Friday certainly didn't stop the Chestnut Tree House from having a cracking night, and raising more than 50,000, but perhaps highlighted the complexities of the contract system at the BBC.

With another Saturday night's dancing on the agenda, I would imagine Ms Rouass's Strictly contract would have involved her being almost wrapped in cotton wool the night before transmission.

On a much smaller scale, I had experience of the contract system at the Beeb during my 11 years on the fans phone-in.

A couple of years ago, a friend/associate found himself on trial at Lewes Crown Court and asked if I, among others, would give him a character reference in court.

Whilst he assured me of his innocence, given the serious nature of the case, and being under contract to the BBC, I had to get permission to attend court.

From initially speaking to my sports editor, he then had to go through his line management, and the ultimate decision came from the head of BBC regions in London.

The answer was along the lines of if you have to go to court then so be it but please do not at any point mention the BBC.

Fair enough, I thought, and the day came.

I ended up in court number 2, taking the oath, facing the judge and barristers.

The defence barrister asked me to confirm that I was who I was and lived at my address, he then said "And can you confirm that you are a self-employed funeral director?"

"Yes,sir," I replied.

"And that you are the host on the BBC Southern Counties Fans Phone-In, which takes place after every Albion game?"

Sniggers in the public gallery, as I nodded nervously, to which he replied: "I know, because I listen every week."

And in that moment, I knew I had finally, after eight years on the air, met my listener.

As a postscript, my words and that of actor Chris Ellison and former boxer Michael Watson clearly fell on deaf ears as my friend was found guilty and sentenced to 15 years.

But, heigh-ho, I can cross character witness off my lifetime experiences list.

Crawley parking

And finally Worthing Borough Council take note, with my boy's football falling victim to the weather the commander in chief and I went Christmas shopping in Crawley on Sunday.

Arrived at County Mall at 10.30 and left shortly before 4.00pm, 1.50 to park ALL DAY.................

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