You're tired!

I don't get out much these days, or evenings rather. Which may explain how I've managed a 100% hit rate in viewing episodes of the current series of The Apprentice. (This does little to explain how I have achieved similar rates for previous series, but there you go.)

Tuning in for another boardroom bust-up, I started wondering what a parenting special of The Apprentice might look like.

It would surely be at least as entertaining: where before a whole episode was given over to inventing a new board game, a mere two minutes would see contestants trying to produce something to placate a toddler mid-supermarket-shop meltdown. (The solution, I learned on my own shopping expedition this week, is to make a Play-Doh duck at speed while standing in the frozen-food aisle.)

Other tasks in this action-packed episode might reasonably include sales, given the heavy emphasis on this in the genuine article, but this time with a twist - selling broccoli to a reluctant child at teatime, for instance. Or the wearing of shoes to a similarly reticent toddler. Amusing stuff.

And, of course, to satisfy diehard fans there would be a few more familiar scenes. The snappy dressing would remain, but this time it would be relative, so extra points for an outfit untainted by stains and serious respect for something more put together than jeans and a t-shirt.

The culmination of the day's proceedings would also be predictable enough with parents in the board room struggling to be heard (a familiar feeling, perhaps) and a good few puns - like perhaps, instead of 'You're Fired!', Lord Sugar would point and pithily utter the words 'You're Tired!'. And every one would think he was talking to them.

On second thoughts, perhaps I should leave it to the professionals'¦