Carers Support West Sussex says to hidden army of carers - you are not alone

Carers Support West Sussex estimates that three out of five adults will become unpaid friend and family carers at some point in their lives.

The charity currently has 31,000 registered members, however, there are 91,000 carers in West Sussex who do not currently access the services the charity has on offer.

Sonia Mangan, chief executive of Carers Support West Sussex, said: “It is about finding that hidden army of carers and letting them know we are here to support them.

“When people are carers they tend to think they are the only one going through it, but then they come to use and there is this sense of relaxation as they meet people who understand and are going through the same thing.”

Carers Support West Sussex offers physical and emotional support and help with finances.

But one issue the charity faces is those that don’t yet identify themselves as a carer.

Sonia said: “We find that many, and these are mainly women, don’t identify sa carers they just see it something they are meant to do.

“If it is your partner, husband, wife, parent you think this is what I’ve signed up for, this is what I’m meant to do but we are here for you.”

Because of this it can take carers years to realise they need support.

Sonia said: “Parents with a child with a learning disability will take a number of years to realise they may need support.

“If your brother, sister, mother, father has an addiction it takes three years to recognise you are a carer.

“Many carers are looking after those aged over 65 with frailty, dementia or Parkinsons, these people usually need support quicker and it is usually traumatic and can reach a breaking point.

“Our ethos is seen, heard and included.”

On April 29 the charity is hoping to attract new carers and current registered members to its free One Big Day event at Fontwell Park.

Organised by the charity with the family and friend carer teams at West Sussex County Council there is lots on offer from activity sessions such as art classes and yoga, discussion groups, wellbeing advice and much more.

One of the guest speakers on the day will be author Kate Mosse.

Sonia said: “I’m looking forward to One Big Day and talking to Kate, who has been a carer for three adults, she will be talking about her experience and her book An Extra Pair of Hands about her personal story.

“Kate sees it as a women’s issue, and you find women in their 50s are more likely to be carers, and the eldest daughter is the one who will make the decisions.

“The day will be a celebration of carers where they can have fun together,and be able to access information they may need.”

Not having time to do the things they want to do is one of the most-common problems carers tell the charity they need help with.

Sally (her name has been changed) is 52 years old and looks after and cares for her husband who has Asperger’s Syndrome and her dad who has Parkinson’s and dementia.

She explains how one of the biggest impacts she has found with being an unpaid carer is not having any time for herself.

She said: “I feel like I can’t participate in life.

“I can’t just have a couple of glasses of wine because I might need to drive. I can’t accept invites out because I might be needed.

“I can’t turn my phone off because I might get a call.

“I can’t have a holiday because I’m needed at home and who’s going to step-in for me?

“I can’t even guarantee myself any downtime at home, as something might happen, and I’m needed.”

Sally added: “I used to have this wonderful career that I had to give up as I didn’t want to be doing a bad job and was struggling to provide care and work a full-time job. Money’s tight and not just time when you are a carer.

“I’m just like loads of other women – sometimes I fancy going shopping and coming back with a new handbag or a new pair of shoes, but I have to prioritise other things over my own wants and needs. The fuel bills are going up, for example, so I must be prepared for things like that.

“Although you can receive a Carer’s Allowance benefit of £67.60 a week (for one person only) for providing care for at least 35 hours a week. That works out less than £2 an hour for doing a ‘job’ that is all consuming and 24/7.”

Others issues include needing support with handling stress and coping with their mental health, and struggling with the costs, and with access to the grants/funds.

Sonia said: “In the last 12 months we have secured over £430,000 of individual grants and helped with under £1million of unclaimed benefits.”

This is something that Sally has experienced first hand: “They’ve helped me by awarding me a grant from their Carer Health and Wellbeing Fund, a fund to support carers like myself to have a break, so that I could get a bit of me-time for things like a jewellery-making and a paper-making class.

“These days make all the difference and I’m grateful to them for their support.”

Despite the struggles Sally says she is proud to be part of the hidden army of carers.

She said: “The good thing about Carers Support West Sussex is that they understand what it’s like for carers like me.”

Sonia explains that many of the charity’s staff are carers themselves so have first hand experience of what the people that contact them are going through.

With more than 100 members of staff and over 70 volunteers, as well as a dedicated team of trustees, Carers Support is committed to ensuring carers are recognised and listened to, and relies on donations and grants to provide the support it offers.

The charity doesn’t charge for its services, but some of its partners may charge, for example if you are in need of specialist respite care that provider may charge.

Sonia said: “We offer counselling as there can be a lot of guilt and things they need to work through.

“This is free and we use volunteers we have about 45, some are going through their counselling qualification so we are supported by Chichester University and the college.”

What is important to Sonia is that carers know the charity is there for them.

She said: “You are important and there are people out there going through what you are.

“Without you the dependant won’t be able to navigate the journey they are on, so you as a carer are important.

“We have your back and can help support you with whatever you need.”

For more information on the event and the charity, visit carerssupport.org.uk

Or call 0300 028 8888

For the latest breaking news where you live in Sussex, follow us on Twitter @Sussex_World and like us on Facebook @SussexWorldUK

HAVE YOU READ: Bridgerton: When does season two start, who will be in it and Sussex filming locations

YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ: These are the 16 Michelin recommended restaurants in West Sussex