Worthing pen pals are ‘totally unexpected outcome’ of hospice project

An 88-year-old Worthing heart patient and a 10-year-old boy have become firm friends, thanks to a pioneering scheme that teaches schoolchildren about hospice care.
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Having met during an Orchards Junior School visit to St Barnabas House hospice, Don Pearman and Ollie Samson have become pen pals and share their news through letters.

Don, who lives on his own in Worthing, said he really valued the companionship and admitted that before he started visiting the day hospice last summer, he was ‘very close to giving up’.

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Don said: “My wife of 49 years, Doreen, died of cancer in 2004 and I’ve also sadly lost both my daughter and son to cancer.

Pen pals Ollie Samson and Don Pearman with their lettersPen pals Ollie Samson and Don Pearman with their letters
Pen pals Ollie Samson and Don Pearman with their letters

“I get by all right on my own but I don’t get many letters these days, so, I enjoy it when one comes through the post from Ollie.

“I enjoy reading what Ollie’s been up to. He asks me about my family, my travels around the world and my time in the Royal Air Force. There’s lots to tell him. I’ve had some rare old times.

“Even though there’s a 78-year age gap, I’m pleased that we get on so well. It makes me feel like I’m young again. I think back to the little old school I went to and all the fun we had, even though there was a war going on. I say to Ollie, enjoy your school life as it passes fast.”

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Ollie had worried the hospice would be ‘a bit of a scary place’ but found when he visited it was actually ‘very lovely’.

He said: “We visited once a week for three weeks and the people were really friendly and caring.

“It was a lot of fun getting to know Don and I’m glad the hospice helps him so much. After the project finished, I wanted to stay in touch with him.

“I was happy when the head teacher gave me his address to send a card to. I really enjoy receiving Don’s letters and hearing his stories.”

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Don was referred to St Barnabas after receiving the news that he had incurable heart failure.

He said: “My health had suddenly been taken away from me and I couldn’t see a future. I’d gone from being really active to thinking, for God’s sake, just let me go.

“But when I walked through the door to the day hospice, I could feel the happiness. Even though people are unwell, I could hear laughter and joking. There was such a lovely atmosphere. The whole experience has completely turned around my perspective on life.”

The St B’s Schools Project sees children aged nine and ten visit the hospice to learn about hospice care and explore issues such as life, death and bereavement. Patients are paired with pupils for creative activities, the children tour the hospice and there is a celebration at the end, with parents.

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Don said he had been nervous about it but now loves it, as they all ‘just chatter away’.

He said: “Before Christmas, I was paired up with a lovely lad called Ollie. When his mum came in on the final day, Ollie gave me a nice thank you card and I was really happy when they asked if he could write to me again.

“Ollie sent me a lovely Christmas card and in it, he said he’d just had his 10th birthday. So, I sent him a card and wished him a belated birthday.”

The pair have since exchanged several letters, too.

Kim Samson, Ollie’s mother, said: “The schools project is an amazing initiative between local schools and St Barnabas to pair children up with patients and for us, there has been a totally unexpected outcome.

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“I’m really proud of Ollie and I think Don is wonderful and funny and he gives Ollie a totally different perspective on life.”

For more information about the St B’s Schools Project, visit www.stbh.org.uk/hospice-schools-project

Don said: “I think it’s important that children like Ollie get a good understanding of life. When I was a young boy, people weren’t interested in telling you anything. When somebody was really ill, I wasn’t taken to visit them and I certainly didn’t go to any funerals.

“You didn’t know what was going on really. Nowadays, things are a lot more open which is much better. If you’re honest with kids, there’s less for them to be scared of.”