WEATHER, OH JOY: At last some days without rain, but not for long. At least we are not buried in snow. The pond in my bottom field is still hidden as the field remains a lake. The only good out of all this rain is that the grass continues to grow which makes for happy sheep and horses. The pigs who love to wallow in the summertime have had enough of it and are reluctant to get up for their breakfast.

THE DREADED TELEPHONE MENUS: Can there be anything more irritating than being told to press infinite numbers in an attempt to speak to a human, and at the end of it not getting there? The effrontery is to then be told that if you press number 5 you can hear the menu again. The other irritant is to hang on a line for 20 minutes and be told ‘Your call is important to us’ yet so important that no-one wants to answer it.

SMILE FOR THE DAY: Where do fairies and elves go for medical treatment? The National Elf Service.

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