Piddinghoe news
Piddinghoe news

LOVE IS PIG SHAPED: Two days ago, one of my Rare Breed pygmy boars got into the paddock with the sows. Quite a small boar, the sows in question, similarly pygmy, were larger than he was. Taking a strong fancy to one of them, which then went into the pig hut, he followed and they lay contentedly side by side with just their heads poking out into the sunshine. As I did not want the liaison to produce piglets at this time, I tried to get him back to his own paddock. Nothing would move him. Would food win over love? A bucket of food eventually had the desired outcome but love was not to be overcome. The two of them spent the next hour, lying down on either side of the gate, their noses touching through the bars and murmuring gently to each other.

HOSPITAL LABYRINTHS: Yesterday I had an appointment at the Royal Sussex Hospital. If only they had given me some indication of how to find the particular department. All I had been sent was a map of the hospital buildings. The appointment was in the newest building, Thomas Kemp Tower. It might as well have been Trump Tower for all the assistance I had been given. No-one can imagine the maze of corridors, lifts and steps getting there involved. Arrows indicating its location suddenly disappeared. The department was on level 5 but the first lift only went to level 3. I exited and could see no signs for my destination. Another lift occupant, obviously not hospital staff, said she thought I had to go up some twenty or so steps to the next level. This done, still no signs, I approached various people with labels around their necks, who turned out not to be hospital staff and could not help. I approached one labelled as a security guard who then pointed me in the right direction. More steps, more long corridors, and lifts and my department appeared at last. Trying to escape after my appointment was just as difficult. I approached a guy, who looked like an employee, and turned out to be Latvian, who thankfully became my rescuer. He took me along a multitude of corridors and lifts, and finally down a lift, which, had I been made aware of initially, would have saved much step climbing. He told me that the first month of working at the hospital, he had the same problem as I had done and often got lost. Why do they not provide you with directions as to which corridors and which lifts to use? Even the supposed helpers at the reception desk gave me inadequate directions.

SMILES FOR THE DAY: Question: Why was it necessary for the book to see a doctor? Answer: It had an enlarged appendix. Question: What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Answer: Nothing. Being so far away, they just waved.

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