LIGHTS OUT: One recently-arrived couple are still trying to discover how to switch off the really bright lamp in the back porch of their beautiful but decidedly quaint and ancient cottage. They have tried seemingly everything over the space of about eight months in happy residence, following exile in a foreign land, but without success. They like the attractive fitment of the huge bulb which refuses to budge and do not want to wantonly damage anything just to put it out but they cannot find an appropriate switch to do the job. They are also aware that some neighbours may be put out by a 24-hour glare but there are no known complaints and most feel sorry for them having to foot a rather large bill. These are the delights of living in a lovely old, if somewhat dilapidated village but it is known that one popular couple actually decided to leave it when extra lighting was planned by the county council. They reckoned a true village would not be the same without its dark side. There are not many facilities left now. Long gone are the shop, post office and pub of the old days. New developments like the tarmac path (which replaced a muddy morass) and fairy-lit fencing leading to the Village Hall have been welcomed although not by everyone who counted the cost. Coming in are the planned steps on the river bank, the new path and the Kissing Gate but the extended Cycle Track scheme seems to have gone a bit quiet. Its a little like the mystery of several residents finding plastic baubles in t heir flower pots. That does not happen any more either.

FILM NIGHT: Tonight (Friday) in the village hall is Paddington 2, the well-known family comedy that should have them rolling in the aisles. Despite a PG rating it really is a laugh a minute with big-name stars like Hugh Bonneville, Julie Walters, Hugh Grant, Sally Hawkins and Peter Capaldi backing up the eponymous bear who, of course, suffered no hardship or cruelty in the making of the movie. Adults pay £3 (including refreshments) for seats in all parts but accompanied children will be allowed in free. A decent-sized turn-out will lead to another show in late May, probably with a different kind of movie. This one starts at 7pm.

BOOK CLUB: In Piddinghoe goes international again next week when the publication under discussion is A Palace Walk by an Egyptian author. The group’s latest discussion takes place on Thursday April 26 at Atherfield, Village Green with David the host. Ring Christine on 07944 577774 for more details of the club and how to join.

PILATES: Is tomorrow (Saturday) with an early start (8.15am) to Rebecca’s trio of hourly classes in the village hall.

INDOOR SPORTS: Regulars are hoping for a bit more company on the lighter evenings when all equipment for darts, table tennis, cards and board games is supplied from 7.30pm on Wednesdays in the village hall.

ART AND KNITTING: Another relaxing afternoon with the ladies and the teapot as well as their needles and brushes from 2pm to 4pm on Thursdays (village hall).

YOGA: Tim stretches his pupils every Thursday evening from 6.30pm in the village hall.