SNIFFING OUT A STORY: Fleet Street reporters were said to have ‘a nose for news’ in the good old days when many daily paper stories were written from the lounge of the El Vino wine bar but as readers of this worthy weekly publication may have seen from last week’s Sussex Express, the story has simply come and got right up our noses here in the village. Sadly, as we write, the aroma from farm fields surrounding us has hardly faded from nearly four weeks ago. Biosolids? That’s what we are being told by Lewes Council is what the farmer on the C7 is using on his crops. We know an alternative, more rudimentary word for it but, joking aside, it still stinks. This particular piece of green and pleasant land remains very pleasant but it is also turning some of our residents’ complexions green. We see that the council are quoted as ‘endeavouring to ‘encourage’ the farmer to plough this fertilizer into his land as quickly as possible to keep further odours to a minimum...’ Do they mean encourage him with, say, a pitchfork? Because, so far, this softly-softly approach just ain’t working.
ALL MOD CONS: A somewhat lively family have moved out of a rented semi-detached in The Street and it is now available for newcomers at what looks a bargain price of just £1300 per calendar month. A sneak look through a few of the windows does, in fact, explain why the figure is so low. It all looks a bit shambolic and grim. Yet outside in the back-garden the departing tenant, confirming what kind of lifestyle went on there on his watch, has really pushed the boat out, constructing an impressive Spanish-style Pool Bar which, apparently he has left behind for next use. Cheers.
ASHES TO CRASHES: Tales of near-misses and, sometimes, tragic ‘hits’ on the C7 road runs past Piddinghoe are legion but one resident of the village recounts an amazing story that occurred just further back nearer the Cemetery when he was driving at a steady 35 mph towards Pidd. A small blue car overtook him at breakneck speed on a bend and somehow just swerved back into line thanks largely to the shocked lady driver coming towards him applying her brakes. Our friend and the lady driver exchanged astonished looks and patted their chests in relief but when the Piddinghoe person drive on and came upon the Cemetery gates, lo and behold there was the car that had overtaken him, positioned half-way up the kerb - and empty. Was the driver late for his own funeral?
READ ALL ABOUT IT: The latest issue of our terrific parish magazine The Villager is due out next week and there are some even better features than usual. Easter plans including an Egg hunt are detailed in Rev Mary’s St John’s Church column; Julia’s Bird Talk centres on a hedge-hopper; Rowena’s Creature Features focuses on the expense of vet’s bills and Gill’s Art jottings are as graphic as ever. Best of all, though, are the reviews of our recent Piddinghoe Players’ production, the satirical Le Hoe de Pidding - one in English, one in French (well, sort of). The Villager is delivered free to every household and a few spare copies can be seen in the Church or the village hall. A real joy.
BOOK CLUB: The Sympathiser by Niet Thangk Ngyek is due to come under discussion on Thursday May 16 at Halyards, The Street, with Vanessa hosting from 7.30pm. New members are welcome. Contact Christine on 07944577774 or email email@example.com
FILM NIGHT: Next showing is Friday week, April 19 The Happy Prince 2018 (Cert 15) about Oscar Wilde’s life and death with a few controversial scenes written, directed and starring Rupert Everett,plus top-drawer support from Colin Firth and Emily Watson. £3 at the village hall (7.30pm) refreshments and wine available. Sir Anthony Hopkins’s charming yet gritty ‘The World’s Fastest Indian’ has been announced for Friday May 31.
PILATES: Rebecca’s Saturday (tomorrow) three morning classes run from 8.15am to 11.15am in the village hall.
INDOOR GAMES: Each Wednesday evening free access to darts and table tennis equipment available in the village hall. No need to book.
ART AND KNITTING: Jill’s ladies gather from 2pm each Thursday afternoon in the village hall. Tea and biscuits always available and sometimes cake.
YOGA: Tim Blair’s highly-praised class is gradually catching on. £8 in the village hall from 6.30pm.