National League confusion reigns - but Eastbourne Borough are surely staying put

Bill Shankly’s infamous maxim was wrong. As the nation tackles momentous issues of life and death, football is no more than a trivial note in the margin. And yet perhaps, with the Universe spinning, we could all do with a bit of normality. Right now, local footy fans would jump at the chance of a dour Saffrons scrap or a dreary 0-0 at Priory Lane.

With the timescale uncertain, the season may not see another ball kicked. But it is starting to seem that, like the Grand Old Duke of York, Eastbourne Borough will be going neither up nor down. The Herald sought out Sports football chairman John Bonar for some clarity:

Who will make the decisions? “The National League board has met three times in the last ten days. But they cannot decide independently of the EFL, because of the crucial issue of promotion and relegation between Division Two and the National League – which everyone in non-league is very keen to preserve.”

So it isn’t really in Borough’s hands? “We are one small voice. Most or all National South – and National North – clubs want to end the season now, but we have only four votes between us. The National League clubs, some of whom want to keep the season alive, have one vote each! We expect a decision either way, by end of the week.”

How is the club coping? “It’s a massive challenge. We still have bills and costs, such as for energy and maintenance. There are wages, including for example our youth development officer and our bar steward. Our financial hero Steve Carter is exploring all avenues. There might be financial support coming through from above, but nothing concrete at this stage.”

Could Danny Bloor and his team feasibly complete their fixtures? “The players are technically on furlough, and not training together, but they have all been given fitness plans by the physios, to stay in shape. Contracts run out on the first weekend of May, but players could still choose to play.”

What are the other options for rounding off the season? John Bonar takes a long breath. “One, we seal it off now, and restart season 2020-21 with everyone back in the same division as 2019-20. Two, we freeze the current league tables and apply promotion and relegation to the clubs in those current positions.”

This sounds like perfect stuff to perplex the contestants in some future pub quiz. Which club finished seventeenth, but was relegated on goal difference? What is the only combination of results that would put Chelmsford City into a play-off place? But sorry, John, we interrupted you.

More options? “Three, we apply a points-per-game ratio to determine league placings, which might be fairer. Four, we do not complete the outstanding fixtures, but some kind of closed-doors elimination is played between the clubs in play-off positions.”

Readers, if you are still following this – there is even an Option Five. The leagues and divisions could award promotion, but no relegation. This would make some divisions larger for at least one season, but at least it gives the football administrators a whole new board game to play in the long winter months, while they sort out season 2021-22….

But back through the maze, and back to where we started. Eastbourne Borough, currently in the relative comfort of fifteenth place, will surely still be in National South, whenever and however it all restarts. And meanwhile, very seriously, we must all return to the real matters of life and death. Stay safe, everyone.