World Cup Bone on the Box: A prancing, dancing, flirting start... and that’s just ITV

AND so it begins – with a collection of weird and scary-looking prancy, dancy types jumping around in strange and colourful costumes.

Fabio Cannavaro

But enough of Ian Wright and Glenn Hoddle on the beach – what did you think of the opening ceremony?

Hard work, wasn’t it? Mainly because we had to endure Clive Tyldo’s history and geography-lesson commentary. He did seem on safer ground when he got to the football bit, but only just.

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With the tournament taking place in Brazil, there was always likely to be a bit of flirting going on – but who thought that would consist of Adrian Chiles chatting up Fabio Cannavaro in the ITV studio? Shudder.

The night before Brazil beat Croatia, helped by Prosinecki’s pals having a goal disallowed for scoring, we were treated to the BBC’s tournament preview.

Alan Shearer thought there weren’t going to be many surprises. But then, if he thought there were, they wouldn’t be surprises, would they? The biggest surprise will be if Shearer says anything remotely interesting.

ITV’s presentation does look like it’ll be more, err, colourful. Although, that doesn’t mean it’ll be comprehensive or hugely entertaining.

Tyldo had the right idea when he summed up the atmosphere as Brazil celebrated their win by saying ‘Just listen to the sound.’

Well, we would if you’d button it, Clive.

Sam Matterface’s debut was welcome for yesterday’s Cameroon-Mexico game. He says it’s Clarke Carlisle alongside him but listen and you’ll realise it’s Gary Barlow.

Clarke (Gary) was on about Cameroon turning the ball into the channel – then said Mexico were all at sea. Which kinda makes sense, I suppose.

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