World Cup Bone on the Box: Short sentences? Whoever gave Neville job deserves one...

In tribute to Phil (sorry – Philip) Neville. I’m going to write this column. In very short sentences. And you have to read it. All in the same tone of voice.

Phil Neville in his playing days
Phil Neville in his playing days

Actually, I’ve had enough of that – don’t want to send you to sleep (any quicker than usual). Did you hear Our Phil? Did the BBC hear him before letting him sit alongside Guy Mowbray? They can’t have.

Three words I never thought I’d say: Bring Back Lawro! At least with him there’s always a strong chance of him saying something inappropriate or so unfunny it’s funny. The World Cup’s not the same without him and Motty in prominent positions.

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The best part of the Beeb’s England coverage was Gary Lineker asking Thierry Henry if he’d ever been guilty of deliberate handball. England 1 France 0, I make that.

I’m not sure about Henry the Pompey fan as a pundit. Asked to talk us through an Arjen Robben goal on Friday, he said: ‘Sometimes you just have to watch it.’ That’s all pundits out of work, then...

Back at England-Italy, Alan Shearer was angry with himself at the break. Not half as angry as I was with the pundit booker for booking Shearer again. I’m even longing for Alan Hansen.

Elsewhere on Saturday, we had Uruguay v Costa Rica and Tyldo said it was the first real shock – obviously thinking that Spain losing 5-1 could not be so classified.

At half-time, Lee Dixon said he’d written down two words. But he was going as fast as he could and being careful to spell them right.

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