Jenny Bathurst: "And somehow I am always wrong..."

Sussex student Jenny Bathurst chronicled Covid week by week. Now she returns to share thoughts, fears and hopes.
Jenny BathurstJenny Bathurst
Jenny Bathurst

Jenny is studying journalism at the University of Brighton.

"I always like to convince myself that the holidays will slump by lazily and that by the final days as I prepare to return to school or college or university I’ll feel well rested and ready to return to independent living and an absurd number of revision flashcards. And somehow I am always wrong. Of course the days seem to go by quicker than I can say ‘Who needs a degree anyway’ and I realise that not only have I left all my studying to the last moment but I need to pack a suitcase probably filled with enough for someone who is going travelling for two years and not two hours down the road where she’ll probably end up buying a suitcase’s worth of clothes in H&M anyway.

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"I often consider how much I’m looking forward to graduating and moving into my own flat or apartment (in crippling student debt) just so I’m able to leave behind the days of packing and unpacking and sitting in the car there and back repeating ‘I’m sure I’ve forgotten something’ at least twelve times.

"This term, returning to my university town is going to be an especially tricky personal challenge for me. Not because of the town itself, although Eastbourne’s seagulls can be pretty threatening, but due to a chronic illness which as I write this is prohibiting nearly every aspect of my life. After suffering a brain injury in November which I thought at the time was harmless, I now live with post-concussion syndrome. Although I have faith that I will make a full recovery, the process is consistent in one area and that one thing is that recovery is never consistent. My current state prevents me from doing most to all activity outside of my home and therefore returning to lessons is unattainable for me. Not only does this of course create a strain on my studies but on my mental and emotional health.

"Now more than ever I choose to cling to God. Losing much of what you could previously do and achieve can often result in you having to consider where your identity lies and for me that is in my faith. I will continue to work as hard as I can towards my degree and lean on the support of friends and family around me, but the knowledge that my hope is found in Him and nothing else is where I know I must fix my eyes when everything else feels so incredibly daunting.

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