Tragic Parys – too beautiful to paint while he was still alive

The extent to which we can open up these crucial conversations will be the way she judges the success of her powerful hometown exhibition Lost in Parys at Worthing Museum running from June 22-September 29.

The work of three artists Alison Lapper, Marc Quinn and Rankin will explore Alison’s personal journey of grief since the death of her son Parys.

Alison, recipient of an MBE for her services to art and a leading member of the Association of Mouth and Foot Painting Artists of the World (AMFPA), came to wider public attention with her collaboration with sculptor Marc Quinn, at a time when she was pregnant with her son Parys, which resulted in the iconic statue Alison Lapper Pregnant. The work sat atop the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square from 2005-2007. Tragically, Parys would die at the age of 19 on August 23 2019 from an accidental drug overdose – a grief she explores in the new exhibition.

“It is all to do with mental health and with my son dying. It is about depression and mental health issues. I've been grieving for five years but I don't really feel that I have been doing it properly. I found that I was going through the motions but not really addressing it and not really feeling it and I think that's the thing, that we don't know how to grieve, that we are not taught how to grieve. We don't allow ourselves to talk about death and mental health and addiction in a way that is kind. I feel as the mother of someone who had to deal with addiction and mental health issues that there is still a lot of stigma but at the end of the day he is still my son and he is not there anymore and that breaks my heart. And I think we need to talk about that. Let's not pretend that he was not here. Let's not pretend that he didn't have problems because he did. We need to talk about it and we need to reach people that are struggling. The stigma has to go and the shame has to go.

“And I talk about it with passion because Parys is not here. He was 19 and next year he would have celebrated his 25th birthday but he is not going to and it breaks me. People say you just think about the lovely times and the good times but what I think about is the great times that we're not going to have and the future that he will not see and the opportunities that will not be there and that I will not know the family he would have had.

“For me the art is about that process of trying to make sense of what happened. What was the point of all of it, his experiences and his life and what he did? It makes me so sad that I read about and see stories that are so parallel to his. It doesn't matter whether you are a one-parent family or whether you're working class or middle class or whatever. It is something that touches everyone.

“I did this exhibition to begin with for myself. I wanted somehow to have a moment with Parys again which sounds crazy. For two years I recreated a different relationship with him through my painting and through painting him. I always used to say when he was alive that he was too beautiful for me to paint or draw. I never did because I could never capture him but I've tried in these paintings to capture the deterioration from when he was healthy through to his death, how he struggled and how he lost the will to fight, his depression, his mental health, the drugs. I had to watch him die and there was nothing that I could do. It didn't matter what I said or what happened.

“And I wanted to work through that in the exhibition and I want to make people talk. I want to offer hope to people and if it touches one young person who is going through a difficult time, then that is great. I had a breakdown myself. I have experienced the whole of loss and depression and mental health problems. This exhibition has come from my soul. I just wanted to give people a little bit of hope. It's been seen by a lot of people that do have mental health problems and I have had responses from people that are suffering and they say that it has helped them to understand themselves a little bit better. It is how we treat people that are struggling. It's about how we treat people differently and I include myself in that. And the answer is kindness but it is also listening. It's about what we are doing to help.”

Alongside Alison’s own work will be sculptures and photographs from friends and contemporaries Marc Quinn (b1964) and Rankin (b1966), echoing and exploring the recent life events of Alison and the effect it has had on her as both a mother and an artist.

The dialogue between these three artists will present visitors to the Bethlem Museum of the Mind with an intimate narrative that explores grief and mental health alongside Alison’s reflection on the complexities of motherhood, even in the direst of circumstances.

The exhibition promises to be both a challenging and uplifting look at a wide range of difficult subjects including mental and physical health, grief, trauma, motherhood and personal loss.

Alison said: “I'm Lost in Parys. It’s a loss that has rearranged my world, watching him fade away in front of my eyes because of the effects of addiction and mental health. It is a death that has changed how I see everything, a grief that has torn everything down, and an unbearable pain that leaves me vulnerable, navigating my feelings through my work.”

A series of new photographs by British photographer Rankin will also be on display as part of the exhibition. A close friend of Alison since working together on the BBC Documentary No Body´s Perfect in 2016, Rankin has now captured Alison in a series of images that chart in stark reality the grieving process of a mother, from mental and physical pain to glimpses of hope and happiness.

Alison´s determination to ensure her son´s life and death was not in vain has also resulted in the creation of the charity The Drug of Art, which launched last year.

Recognising the power and importance that art can hold when dealing with mental health, she decided to set up a charity with award-winning director Victoria Holden to reach as many people as possible. It seeks to demonstrate the power and importance of art as a tool for mental health and wellbeing and has already delivered workshops to over 400 young people and raised over £80,000. As part of the charity’s work, six individuals aged under 25 have also been chosen to exhibit work as a supporting element of the exhibition.

Lost in Parys is at Worthing Museum running from June 22-September 29.