Fairlight Village Voice

Hold on to your tea mugs Fairlight – democracy is upon us! Yes, you heard right, two thrilling vacancies have arisen on our beloved PARISH COUNCIL. If you’ve ever bemoaned the state of a litter bin, raged internally at an overenthusiastic hedge, or stared in disbelief as your neighbour recycles their pizza box whole, then destiny might just be calling. To join this merry band of civic superheroes, a.k.a. Fairlight Parish Council, simply submit your Nomination Papers (far less magical than they sound) to the Returning Officer at Town Hall, Bexhill-on-Sea, TN39 3JX. Papers can be handed in between 10 am and 4 pm on any working day, excluding bank holidays, because even noble public service requires a lie-in sometimes. Act fast! The deadline is 4 pm on Friday, 21st November 2025. That’s today if you're reading the print edition of this fine newspaper, or sometime this week if the internet has already stolen your sense of linear time. If more than two brave souls step forward, brace yourself, there’ll be an actual election on Thursday, 18th December. Just in time for Christmas! Because nothing says festive cheer like deciding who’s best suited to argue passionately about dog bins.

Here comes the Fairs – tinsel and wildlife edition! Tomorrow, Saturday 22nd November, the RSPCA MALLYDAMS WOOD joins the swelling ranks of seasonal extravaganzas, commonly known to the rest of us as Christmas Fairs. Is it just me, or are these popping up faster than mince pies in a supermarket display? Regardless, this one’s proudly billed as a “Wildlife Winter Fair,” presumably because it’s the only fair where you might bump into a badger wearing a Santa hat. It’ll all be happening in the Village Hall from 10 am to 4 pm, and yes, all the usual suspects will be there: craft stalls, homemade treats, and enough festive refreshments to power Santa’s sleigh should he decide to drop by (though knowing his admin skills, he’ll probably show up in January). But here’s where things really get wild: there’s children’s storytelling, children’s games, and even the chance for your little elves to make their own crafts. Parents, consider this your golden opportunity to drink a hot chocolate in peace while your offspring attempt to create an environmentally-friendly glitter hedgehog. Last year’s attempts included a creature that looked suspiciously like a festive traffic cone, but who am I to judge? And yes, it truly isn’t a Christmas fair until at least one child leaves the building covered in glue, glitter, and joy, although not necessarily in that order. Entrance is free, though the exit may cost you your last shred of sanity. Enjoy!

SUNDAY SERVICES – HOLY DOUBLE FEATURE: This Sunday, spiritual excitement simmers across Fairlight and Pett as two of our finest institutions gear up for action. At Pett Methodist Chapel, the ever-reliable John Troughton leads a service titled “Sunday Before Advent” at 10:45 am, a name so suspenseful it might as well be a Netflix thriller. Meanwhile, Morning Praise at St Andrew’s starts at 11 am, giving anyone particularly pious, or indecisive, just enough time to dash between the two for a spiritual double-feature. And in a cliff-hanger worthy of Advent itself, villagers have been asking, some gently, some with the energy of people scrambling for the last turkey in the supermarket, about Christmas service dates. Fear not! These will be published imminently, certainly sooner than your neighbour gets their lights up. Well, probably!

Meanwhile, THE COVE is already leagues ahead, having triumphantly announced its festive opening hours, including the all-important Christmas Day lunchtime drinks. Because nothing unites the village quite like a midday holiday tipple.

Speaking of THE COVE: our beloved village watering hole has doubled down on the belief that peace and quiet are wildly overrated. Live music now rings out every Thursday from 7–9 pm, earplugs optional, enthusiasm compulsory. This very Friday, yes, today, in case your week has dissolved into chaos, the legendary Curst Sons, billed as “Britain’s finest hillbilly blues band,” take the stage at 9 pm. Expect foot-stomping, banjo-twanging, and the occasional Yee-haw echoing down Waites Lane. Then, once your hearing has recovered, mark Sunday the 30th on your calendars, when the incomparable Camden Cat prowls back into The Cove at 6 pm for an evening of Rock & Roll and Blues. Prepare for spontaneous dancing, especially from that one villager who insists they “used to be in a band.” And yes, as mentioned above, the pub will indeed be open on Christmas Day for lunchtime drinks. Peace on earth, goodwill to all, and possibly a pint (or three).

Let’s get back to Christmas Fairs shall we? This time, The VILLAGE HALL CHRISTMAS FAIR. Residents can officially stop pacing the floors at night: the eagerly anticipated details of the Village Hall’s version have finally arrived. Taking place on Saturday, 6th December, festivities begin at 12 noon sharp. The star attraction? Santa Claus himself, arriving to open his grotto. While most assume he’ll come by sleigh, if he can find his bus pass, you might want to look out for any suspicious activity around the Number 101. Expect all the festive favourites, including carol singing from our very own Village Voices, mince pies and hot food, mulled wine, an array of stalls and a raffle rumoured to include a bottle of sherry that has allegedly been re-gifted since 2003. Entry is completely free, welcome news during what many politely describe as “character-building” financial times.

Before all that, make room in your calendars for St PETER’S ADVENT CRAFT AND CAKE FAIR on Saturday, 29thNovember. There should be enough homemade cake to feed a small battalion, and decorations guaranteed to make your home resemble a cheerful glitter explosion. Do pop along, support your community, and feel free to pretend you’re there purely out of civic duty rather than for the mince pies. I promise, no more mention of Christmas Fairs, well, not this week anyway!

FACEBOOK PAGES: The usually serene landscape of village Facebook, normally home to lost cats, suspicious vans, and heated discussions about misdelivered Amazon parcels, erupted this week. The culprit? Southern Water’s generous decision to redecorate our coastline with billions of tiny plastic pellets. But amid the outrage, villagers were united in praising local MP Helena Dollimore, who somehow managed to be “on the scene,” “in Parliament,” and “on BBC Radio Sussex” all at the same time, and before most of us found the kettle. “If Helena ran Southern Water, we’d be bathing in champagne,” declared one commenter, earning 87 likes and one angry face from our village teetotaller. Yes, we do have them! The chaos even pushed the village’s perennial drama, missing cats, down the feed. “Poor Tiddles has been missing for three days, but no one cares now the beach is covered in Lego!” wailed one resident. Officials tell me “steps are being taken,” though no clarification was given on whether those steps were towards the beach or briskly away from it. For its part, Southern Water promises to “review procedures,” a comment widely believed to be code for “we’ll buy a bigger broom.” You couldn’t write it. (But apparently, I just did.)

Until next time, have a wonderful week—preferably one free of plastic pellets and parish paperwork.

Bob Scattergood - [email protected]