Archie, 19, Crawley How did you know about abob? I knew nothing about them. But I ran into an abob man in East Grinstead who I also didn’t know. He sussed out that I was probably a good candidate. I was loitering. He asked me questions and told me about his own life and how abob had supported him. He was inspiring to hear. I could relate to his life, that’s what helped. He’d been in prison, I haven’t but my dad has. I got that he was offering me an opportunity and I saw that he’d changed his life which is what I wanted to do.

What happened next?

Someone phoned me and set me up with a mentor. I did the 12 week mentoring course before I did the rites of passage weekend. It was great. We really got on. We clicked which made it so much easier. We covered different topics together like money. I’ve always been terrible with money so it was great to explain. I had a spending problem. And he was equally open about himself. It was all really useful.

Tell me about your background?

My dad was a drug addict and hardly ever around. My mum had three kids to bring up on her own and she was absolutely brilliant.

How was school?

Difficult because I had ADHD and I couldn’t sit still. I was home-educated at first and later on I went to Plumpton College to do my GCSEs.

What about drugs?

I was fine for a while and then I got into them. By the time, I was 17, I was addicted to cocaine. It made me angry, and not a nice person to be around. I was depressed and the drugs were just distracting me from it. I did some stupid things like punch the wall through at home. It was tough for my mum.

How did your mentor help with that?

He helped me as did the abob work – to talk about my feelings. That helped me come out of my shell.

And the weekly meetings?

They are an incredibly important safe space for me each week. I felt like I finally had my hands on the wheel. It’s all been about gaining self-knowledge.

How was the Rites of Passage Weekend?

Goodness gracious, it was big. I was anxious beforehand because no-one tells you anything about it. We were a group of men and it felt hostile at first. Everyone was sizing each other up like they do out there. I realised I had choices in life when I was doing it. I learnt to commit, I was hopeless around commitment beforehand. Afterwards, all of them felt like my brothers.

What’s changed for you?

I’m clean which is huge for me. I’ve got rid of a whole lot of old relationships because they were drugs-related. It was tough to do but I did it. I gave up the guilt and the shame which made giving up the drugs much easier.

How about your future with abob?

I want to support other young men and I also want to go off travelling. And abob has been so important for me.

abandofbrothers is a national charity that supports young men (from 18 - 25) particularly who've been involved in the criminal justice system or who have mental health issues. abandofbrothers.org.uk

There is an Open Evening on May 2nd at 7pm in Crawley.

'Looking for a better way to be a man?

We're building something special in Crawley, and we want men in our community to be part of it.

A Band of Brothers and MENSHARE Listening Group are pairing up again for another introduction evening. If you've been curious about what we're up to, now's your chance.

📅 Friday, 2nd May, 7pm

📍 Greenfield Baptist Church, 1 Ashdown Drive, Tilgate

What's it all about?

We're a group of local blokes who volunteer our time to support other men and help them change their lives. With so many negative versions of masculinity out there, we're offering something different.

Drop in and get a taste of how our men's groups work. Meet our group leaders and hear from men whose lives have been transformed by being part of these communities.

We're seeing more interest every week. Whether you're struggling or thriving, there's a place for you here.

Bring a mate who might benefit - sometimes all it takes is that nudge to make a life-changing connection.

📞 Questions?

* ABOB Crawley: [email protected], 07961155980

* MENSHARE: [email protected], 07745 877661'

The men who saved my life - Crawley teenager talks about the charity abandofbrothers