I recommend egg hatching for a hobby

I have been in chick midwife mode for the last few days and failed to clear up after myself.

That is this morning's task after successfully aiding twenty chicks into this world and abetting one with too much of a heavy handed approach to egg shell cracking.

A month ago we set a dozen guinea fowl eggs under a compliant and broody bantam.

Our guinea fowl are prolific layers but, allegedly, hopeless parents. Not once last year did any of ours go broody.

There are six females, who faithfully lay me six eggs a day in the hen house, and three males, who we hoped were performing the necessary to fertilise the eggs.

Not that we have ever seen any sign of action in this area. Our male bantam cockerels are shockingly exhibitionist.

They will pursue and ravage without a care for whoever is looking on. The guinea fowl must have a more secretive nature.

To continue. A month ago, at the same hour, we set a dozen eggs in my mini incubator. Purchased courtesy of EBay.

And a smasher it is too. Automatic egg turning the lot. According to all the experts on t'internet, the eggs could hatch anywhere between twenty eight to thirty three days.

The ones in the incubator started on day twenty seven, just two days after I switched the automatic turner off.

Twenty four hours later we had five chicks in the incubator but nothing happening under the bantam.

So under cover of night we switched the bantams eggs for five chicks (and wasn't she thrilled) and kept our hopes up for a continued hatch.

And yesterday, day thirty, everything started to happen at once for Mrs Bantam's eggs.

Till then I had been helping out the incubator eggs as first the tiniest crack appeared in the egg, and then a piece flaked off and a little beak could be seen pecking its way to freedom, and adding them to Mrs Bantam's brood.

Good job she can't count.

My problem is I can't wait for nature to take it's turn and also, despite raising the humidity in the incubator, the membrane under the shell does dry out quickly and strangles the chicks efforts to free itself.

If, however, you get a bit heavy handed with your peeling back the membrane, a mini haemorrhage can occur. I know just how a remorseful murderess feels.

If you want an addictive hobby I can recommend egg hatching.

I could not resist lifting out egg after egg and picking off bits of shell, treasuring that moment when a little claw appeared, then stretched, then kicked.

Or when tearing a segment of membrane with my clumsy fingers allowed the head to unfold and shake itself free of constriction. Magic.

The complexity of the packaging is miraculous.

One second you have a scrawny little ball of skin and wet feathers, and then, it springs apart and there is a real life gasping chick.

But the mess on my floor...