Excuse me, Sir?

There are plenty of jokes I could try to make, but as I'm not overly keen on getting sued by one of the world's wealthiest men and I'm pretty sure Mussolini never cursed Vista's supposed slower running time compared with XP, I'll come straight out and give you the answer.

They all have knighthoods.

No, I didn't know that either. It came out in the news this week when a story was run about Mugabe having his rescinded.

It's not just the Brits that can have one you see, foreign nationals get them too. Only they are not allowed to use the title 'Sir' as it's an honorary award taken on the advice from the British Government.

And it seems we dish them out like confetti.

I always thought a knighthood was the ultimate. The highest award you could have (actually, the Order of Merit is if you want to be pedantic). But looking at the number that get doled out, you have to feel it cheapens things slightly.

Sure, the world has changed and I wouldn't expect recipients to be defenders of the realm or the faith. To my knowledge, Terry Wogan will not be called upon to don his armour should invasion threaten. Though I find the mental picture it conjures up appealing.

I guess there's nothing wrong in celebrating cultural and industrial success is what I mean. And in recognising work for good causes (Bob Geldof being the obvious example), it's fine too.

But by giving it to anyone who has ever thrown the government a bone down the years, you have to question what it's worth. Can't we just send a thank you card like everyone else? And no, I'm not getting all Daily Mail about a British tradition, but look at the list; Ronald Reagan (Dear Ron, thanks for being a mate. Thought this would be better than socks. Love Maggie), George Bush Snr and Bill Gates' gong - rumoured to have been pushed for by Gordon Brown.

Spike Milligan summed it up quite nicely by saying the trouble with being a Knight of the British Empire is, you're a knight of something which doesn't exist.

But I'm not sure anything can anything cheapen it more than giving it to a string of brutal dictators. How embarrassing.

Mussolini got his taken back in 1940. Understandable given the whole war thing, but then he was busy slaughtering Ethiopians and building a police state while still a knight of the realm.

Rumour has it Adolf was quite put out as he'd always wanted to see Buckingham Palace.

Mugabe no doubt polished his ceremonial medal between bouts of ordering exterminations and violent intimidation.

Perhaps a test for genocidal tendencies might be an idea in future.

As it goes though, any politician or activist who can get nations to take truly positive action against Mugabe's regime in Zimbabwe would be one of the best candidates for a knighthood I can think of.

And on that Johnny Borrell-esque note, I'll see you next time.