OUT IN THE FIELD: Surviving the lockdown, garden waste collection and farewell to Auntie Betty

Week four of the lockdown and this working from home malarkey is proving difficult. Sitting in the kitchen in Field Towers in front of a computer screen while the sun is splitting the rocks outside is no fun at all sometimes. I did however venture out during one lunch hour after donning my shorts and a vest top – despite Himself warning me that I may frighten small children and animals – to top up my collection of freckles. I have never been and surely never will be now one of these people that only has to look at the sun and develops a wonderful olive skinned glow. I slap the Factor 50 all over my legs, which these days resemble two large slabs of pale corned beef, and go bright pink before peeling and going an even whiter shade of pale. Aside from a few more freckles. While some people count sheep to get to sleep, I count the latest additions to my freckle collection. I get to 1,540 before I drop off and the Triumph Spitfire starts to backfire. Within seconds I am snoring and firmly ensconced in the land of Nod. Anyway, after a short burst of sunbathing as us fairskinned Irish petals can only stay in the sun for minutes at a time, I cut back my curly kale and spinach plants, which have both reached preposterous proportions. They will be heading to tortoises across the borough as I have yet to find a decent recipe for either of them. I also remain convinced Her Majesty was talking directly to me on her recent broadcast about the pandemic: That moment when she said we all have to show self-restraint in these testing times. I thought that during her address to the nation (and aren’t we lucky we have her as calming hands when the nation is floundering?) that she was surveying the contents of my glass recycling bin as she spoke.

Unlike Eastbourne, Wealden council suspended its garden waste collection service at the end of March until further notice. I am still trying to find out if the missed weeks will be credited to our accounts when it comes to paying for another year come June. I’ll let you know.

On a sadder note, my pen and notebook have been put to one side for much of this week as our much loved Auntie Betty became very unwell and sadly passed away on Tuesday evening. Betty - one of three Miss Fields in our family - worked back in the day in the treasurer’s department at Eastbourne council and later at Llwellyn’s (or Loo Loos as it was known then). She was a real glamour puss, always immaculately dressed and called everyone Duckie. Her glass was never empty, always half full - usually with whiskey or her favourite red wine and was something of a matriarch within the family. Because of visiting restrictions in care homes, we were not allowed to be with her in her final days but are grateful that a nurse sat with her and held her hand as she passed away. Her funeral will be a very quiet affair but we will celebrate her life when all this is over with a big party. And the bottled grapes will be flowing. RIP Auntie Betty.