Sussex columnist: Feeling mum guilt over a bit of 'me time'

​We can spend hours, days, months, even, lamenting our lack of free time to our friends, family and anyone who will listen. And then, when we get some, we feel bad about going out on our own and we miss our kids fiercely.

Well, that’s my experience and I imagine it’s shared by other mums.

I’m lucky enough to have two days a week ‘to myself’ but that’s between the hours of the school day. And we all know that after drop off those precious five/six hours disappear very quickly.

It’s like somebody puts the clock on fast-forward and by the time you’ve raced around and done all your chores (and possibly met a friend for a quick coffee!), it’s time to pick up the children again.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel very privileged that I’m able to have those days off. But there isn’t enough time to venture very far away from home.

So, a planned trip to London on Saturday with my mum and sister felt like a real treat.

I’d wanted to see The Book of Mormon for years, and that seemed like as good a reason as any to have a day in the capital.

But as with anything when you’re a mum, you have to juggle about a million different plans, arrangements, thoughts and a hefty dose of guilt. And this day out was no exception.

Having booked and paid for tickets to the show on what my calendar showed was a free day, a party invitation landed in my son’s bag for that day just a few days later.

And then my daughter was invited to take part in the inter-schools cross country event up at The Gallops in Findon on the same morning.

Not only was I not going to be there to see my daughter competing for her school, I also wasn’t going to be able to take my son to his party.

And, perhaps most scarily of all, I was going to have to break the news to my husband that his low-key home day with the kids was now an action-packed day of children’s activities.

I’m only joking, really. My husband is actually very capable and we share the domestic and childcare load. But if given the choice, being in a room with a lot of screaming five and six year olds high on birthday cake is not his preference!

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As my day out approached, I realised preparation was going to be key.

My daughter’s PE kit would need to be washed and ready and a playdate would need to be organised for her unless she was going to sit on the sidelines of her brother’s friend’s party.

Outfits would need to be chosen (including spare clothes for the party which, we were told, could get messy as it was outside), a present bought and wrapped. Explanations, directions and timings laid out for the hubby.

Basically, military operations have nothing on me.

I left for the 9.06am train from Worthing station a flurry of hurriedly garbled instructions at the front door, multiple hugs for everyone, much guilt and a creeping belief that maybe I shouldn’t be taking a ‘day off’.

But as I sat down and the train pulled away, I realised my big day out was actually happening and I may as well make the most of it.

Photos came through from my husband of my daughter doing really well in the cross-country. Later in the day, photos of my son having fun at the party started pinging into the birthday WhatsApp group.

My husband sent updates to say all was fine.

Despite my earlier worries about being gone on a busy day, I had such a nice time with my mum and sister.

Much as I really missed my little family, it’s healthy to have a bit of ‘me-time’.

And the Book of Mormon? It’s excellent! As long as you don’t mind lots of crudeness and lots of swearing... I found it hilarious!

I might start the planning now to do another London day next year!