WHISPERING SMITH: Might as well try to catch the wind

I guess when all of those windmills were appearing across the Dutch landscape, there were folk back in the day who thought even those magnificent things looked pretty ugly, but that they would probably make nice little blue China ornaments for tourists or look good printed on a dinner service.

The modern, white, spinning turbines do have a certain gracefulness about them and are far less likely to bring us harm than failing nuclear power stations, edifices that I find really creepy.

As the demand for power grows, the need for alternative sources will also grow. More people, more power, more windmills, an inescapable equation. Still, at eight miles out, with a horizon from the LA beach of only around three miles, they are unlikely to have much of a visual impact on our area.

Designer drawings show them only as matchstick-like figures marching across the seascape. However, without a doubt, such turbines do impact strongly on some areas of the environment, in ways hard to imagine unless you are actually involved.

The local fishing is an example. I am told by some that their impact will be considerable and harmful, making net fishing in the area difficult to impossible. Others say that the vibrations and underwater structures attract the fish – which isn’t a lot of help if you cannot get in amongst them with nets!

Maybe both are true, because I am also told that the fishing around the Dungeness nuclear power station is fine – fish linger and fatten in the warmer water generated there, but they do not glow in the dark.

SOUTH TERRACE I have no intention of getting involved in the South Terrace Plastic Double Glazing and Sky Dish War, a conflict I feel will last several years and cost the ratepayer a pretty penny, but would like to point out that Mr Vick’s dream terrace is a ship that has already sailed.

It upped anchor when the Beach Hotel was destroyed, Kingmere was built and when multi-occupancy dwelling and absentee landlords took over, and vanished forever beneath a myriad of “for sale” and “to let” boards that fly like colourful plastic flags the length of the terrace!

LANGUAGE Watching television, or chatting with friends, I hear a really, really irritating couple of phrases.

First is the constant use of “you know” and the second is the really, really grating use of the double really! Bet you didn’t even notice that I have used it twice already – now that is really, really, really irritating!

CATASTROPHE I recently had a stray cat problem. A pirate pussy slipped in the cat flap after dark and ate everything on view.

So, I bought a magnetic flap and fixed my moggy’s collar up with the magnetic entrance key. It keeps the marauder out, but now my cat comes in with a variety of metal objects attached to her collar – a chunk of scrap metal, a bent screwdriver blade, several hairpins and an assortment of metal bits but, so far, nothing of any real value…