Book a tool for people to help deal with cancer devastation

By the time you finish reading this piece, another daughter will have lost a father, or another mother will have lost a son.

On March 30, member of The Wanted Tom Parker, passed away from a brain tumour at the age of 33.

Parker had a wife, and two young children. Every single day families are grieving the premature deaths of their loved ones.

Not for one second could I have imagined that, at the age of 54, my father would lose his life to cancer.

My father. Fit, healthy and full of life. However, with such tragedy comes bittersweet gifts. Ones of lightness, strength, and wisdom.

When my father received his terminal prognosis in March 2020, I didn’t want there to be a single word left unsaid to him. It was my sole aim for as long as we had left together to acknowledge, accept, and process the grief with him before he died.

During this time together, he often pointed out how it’s not him we should feel sorry for, as he’s not going to be suffering anymore.

It’s us four kids. It’s my mother. We’re the ones going to left behind.

The refreshingly unvarnished perspective my father embodied gave me permission to be selfish.

It allowed me to ask him for what I needed to feel more at peace with the cards our family had been dealt.

And now I have the tools I need to ground myself in those moments where I feel like life isn’t worth living if he isn’t by my side.

I have the overwhelming sense of gratitude for those six months we spent together, as we trusted that the universe would grant us as much time as we needed.

On September 5, 2020, we lost my father’s body, but his spirit remained – stronger than ever.

In October 2021, I published my first book, From Prognosis to Peace: Navigating Grief through Gratitude, Discovery, and Healing.

It bridges a difficult, but vital, gap in communication. It grants you permission to gently start your grieving process with your loved one, before fate takes its toll.

I want to normalise conversations around death, loss, and grief in a gentle and compassionate way – as unforeseen situations like Tom Parker’s, and my father’s, occurs more often than we like to think about.

The reality is this could happen to any of us. Regardless of wealth or health or race. Irrespective of treatment or doctors or status.

Cancer does not discriminate. We need more resources that prepare and ease us into the grieving process.

From Prognosis to Peace isn’t a morbid, sad, or heavy. Quite the opposite.

I see it as a necessary tool for sufferers, loved ones and families during times of grief, loss, and heartache. A bittersweet gift to be treasured. One that I think Tom Parker, and my dad, would be grateful for me to share.

Coloumn contributed by Lara Rodwell.