First Coffin & Cake event in West Sussex encourages people to talk positively about death

However, those behind the first Coffin & Cake event are in earnest about providing a platform for people to find support and to ask questions.

Free of charge, Coffin & Cake takes place on Sunday, September 18, at Pinks Parlour in Bognor Regis at 6pm.

Open to anyone who is curious or fearful about death, those grieving a loved one are also assured a warm welcome.

Led by Funeral Celebrants Erika Biddlecombe, from Emsworth, and Vicky Edwards, from Chichester, and Alison Wright, from Rustington, who is a soul doula (someone who supports people emotionally and holistically at the end of their life), they are supported by former nurse Katy Alston, owner of Pinks Parlour.

Explaining the collective hope is to open up what is often perceived as a taboo conversation, Erika said: “As independent celebrants [wedding and funeral officiants who aren’t necessarily affiliated with a particular faith] one of the saddest things we encounter is seeing a family’s grief compounded by the fact that they have no idea what their loved one wanted for their funeral - that death was something that they never talked about.

"The idea is that people can come along either to contribute, or just to listen. We aim to inspire and support in an atmosphere that is non-judgemental and rich in loving kindness.”

“In other cultures, attitudes to end of life and dying are more pragmatic – pro-active, even,” said Vicky, adding: “For instance, there is a lot more scope for non-traditional funeral services in the UK nowadays, but often people aren’t aware of the options. Being able to talk openly and ask questions about death should be the norm, but as a nation we are still a bit buttoned-up about it. This can leave those who are grieving with a lot of unanswered questions. Our event will cover everything you ever wanted to know about death but were afraid to ask – with cake and compassion.’”

Soul doulas, who work primarily within hospices and care homes, as well as in some home settings, work alongside the medical team and family to help make their loved ones’ death as comfortable as possible.

As a soul doula, Alison knows that it is possible to have a ‘good death.’

“I am passionate about making grief and dying more accepted and honoured in society, and also about raising awareness of how soul doulas and celebrants can help achieve this. Being part of a team that offers a loving and vibrant space where death can be freely spoken about is really important,” said Alison.

Stressing that Coffin & Cake will be a warm, welcoming and insightful gathering hosted by empathic professionals, the ladies hope by hosting the event at an ice cream parlour – a venue traditionally associated with joy and fun – people will feel reassured.

Katy Alston said: “I feel there is such a need for the skills and ideas these three ladies have. Pinks is always proud to support the community, and of course everyone experiences loss. I am delighted to be able to offer Pinks Parlour as the inaugural meeting place for Coffin & Cake.”

The event is free but places are limited and must be booked on 07771 890854 or email [email protected]