England expects… its cricket team to capitulate down under every four years
I think it’s fair to say that if Horatio Nelson had found himself Down Under watching the England cricket team over the first two Ashes Tests of the series, he’d have shut his other eye!
Former England’s skipper Nasser Hussain soundbite on Sunday morning – “England were out-batted, out-bowled, out-fielded, out-caught, out-thought and out-classed” – probably summed up how we were all feeling.
It’s such a shame, because the Ashes Series, dating back 148 years to 1877, is one of the truly great global sporting contests, but it can only continue to be so if it is competitive.
England, with their ‘Bazball’ coach Brendon McCullum and skipper Ben Stokes, have stated that they have had a blueprint plan for this series in place for the past three years, which clearly heightens both the hype and expectation of an entire cricketing nation.
And that has made the six days of Test Cricket seen so far (two days at Perth with four at Brisbane) even more disappointing.
Granted, there have been very fine margins – many would argue that in both Tests, England reached a point where they were in a potentially winning position only to collapse like Devon Loch, not once but twice.
It’s even more frustrating that while being a decent Australian side, the hosts are not a great side and have been basically there for the taking.
I’ve been lucky enough to witness this sporting contest in the flesh, in Adelaide and Perth in 2013, and just Perth in 2017. At least England were consistent – they got done in all three matches!
In fact they haven’t won a Test match in the former penal colony since January 2011.
If it’s bad for the team and the management, spare a thought for the thousands of England cricket fans – aka The Barmy Army – who have travelled the near 10,00 miles to watch their team play.
Not only is it a very long way, it certainly ain’t cheap.
There was even the unfortunate story of the England cricket fan who effectively spent his life savings going out to Perth for the third day to achieve his lifetime ambition of going to the Ashes... only for the match to last two days.
It’s pretty clear the Ashes will remain with the Aussies until at least 2027, and England really are now playing for both pride and credibility, and also to reward their loyal fans, when they go to the Adelaide Oval next week.
But can this squad really muster up the spirit of Douglas Jardine and Len Hutton? Not so far.