Congratulations Gareth ‘Mr Beige’ Southgate: Even in victory, you’ve divided the country

England were literally seconds from one of the most humiliating defeats in their 152-year history after 95 minutes of dross. Slovakia took what was arguably a deserved first half lead, then after a mistake by John Stones, David Strelec’s speculative shot form the halfway line went agonisingly wide with Jordan Pickford out of position.

If that had gone in, then it would have been Goodnight England, Gareth Southgate here’s your P45. And no doubt we’d have seen Stralec’s ‘wonder goal’ for a generation.

But it didn’t, despite a woeful England performance, the Three Lions came good at the optimum time.

It wasn’t like we weren’t warned, Gary Neville stating on ITV at half-time that this had an ‘Iceland vibe’ about it (England having been knocked out by Iceland in the same stage at France 2016).

Ian Wright chipped in by saying England skipper Harry Kane was in no position to go into the dressing room and start pointing fingers after his first half showing. In fact, at times we’d have done better with Sir Michael Caine up front.

ITV summariser Lee Dixon stated not once but twice that he was astounded that Southgate hadn’t made the changes at half-time the nation was crying out for.

In short, not for the first time in the years they’ve inflicted frustration and disappointment on the massed ranks of their support, England got lucky.

All successful teams have an element of luck, and that’s what takes England through to the quarter-final this Saturday against Switzerland. But Sunday’s victory in Gelsenkirchen also papers over the current huge cracks in the England set-up.

And it also highlights the huge division in the England support predominately caused by the manager, Mr Beige himself, Gareth Southgate.

To reiterate he was literally seconds from the sack and potentially being hung, drawn and quartered in both the press and on social media.

Unless England go on to win the tournament, in my opinion unlikely, but not impossible, the victory merely kicks the can down the road.

Southgate is what he is, he’s not going to change his persona, his tactical nous, his decision making in the space of six days.

In the wake of the victory, which in normal circumstances should have united the nation, the spats broke all over social media. The Southgate apologists were saying critics don’t know what they’re talking about, he got it right, that’s all that matters. But is it?

Yes, we are in the quarter-finals, but there is still a huge black cloud hanging over the whole scenario.

To reiterate, England could still win the whole thing, Sir Kier, freshly ensconced in Number 10, will no doubt bestow a knighthood, Arise Sir Beige, but ultimately you cannot insult the intelligence of the England football fan.

We all know what we saw over 120 minutes – the two goals and the victory were merely cosmetic. In a perverse way, doing it in this manner is all extremely entertaining, although a bit of the strain on the nation’s tickers.

Maybe D:Ream had the right idea when Tony Blair swept to power all those years ago... surely ‘things can only get better’...?

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