Graeme Gee: I’ve not got long to live – but the football family are helping keep my spirits up

Doctors can do no more for him after kidney cancer spread to other parts of his body and medication aimed at combatting it failed to work.

It’s a tragic situation for Graeme, 51, and his wife Sarah, who have two young children, but he is facing up to it with great courage – and says the football mates he has made through more than 30 years of playing and managing at clubs around the south are rallying round and helping keep his spirits up.

He has been Miles Rutherford’s assistant at Chi City for eight seasons but has not been well enough to go a game since the festive period – but is staying in touch with their progress as they bid to reach the Isthmian south east division play-offs.

In turn, Chi boss Rutherford and coaches Danny Potter and Darin Killpartrick say Graeme’s influence on City over the years has been huge – and even now, his opinions on how the team are doing are proving valuable.

Graeme told us about his fight against cancer, saying he was initially diagnosed with kidney cancer and had an operation to remove affected areas.

But over time cancer spread to his stomach lining and he developed tumours on his chest and other areas.

He was fitted with a permanent stomach drain but this stopped working because of exhaustion. He was eventually put on morphine.

Recently, in hospital, he was told he could no longer take a drug which was trying to slow down the cancer’s spread. When he asked doctors how long he had left, he was told it was probably less than three months.

Graeme has been very open about his prognosis with everyone he knows. “People deal with in different ways – this is my way,” he said.

"You see people of all ages facing this sort of thing – including many much younger than me. It is what it is.

"Do I want to die? No. But I’ve tried to carry on enjoying what I can of life – time with my wife and our two kids, Luca, who’s nearly three, and Rafferty, who’s nearly one.”

“A little while ago I went out with a load of football mates in Portsmouth, and recently Miles and Guy Rutherford and I and our partners all went out. I don’t want everyone feeling sorry for me.

"The last Chi game I got to, we lost 3-0 to Horndean, but although I’ve not been to one since then I’m kept fully up to date by Miles and others. I love hearing from them. I also now spend a lot of my time watching football and racing on TV – too much probably!”

Graeme’s playing career included spells with Portsmouth Civil Service, Weymouth. Newport IOW, Bashley, Brockenhurst, Winchester and Moneyfields. The first and last clubs in that list were the same one, who were once managed by Graeme’s dad Micky.

Those playing days, when he played on the left wing or in midfield, included lengthy times in the Southern League premier.

When he quit playing, he joined up with Miles Rutherford in the dugout and they had some very successful times with Moneyfields before switching to Chi City in 2015.

There, they have led the club from the Southern Combination to the Isthmian League – and the upper reaches of the south east division – and to success both in the FA Vase and the FA Cup.

I n 2019 they made national headlines by reaching the seco nd round of the FA Cup, in which they lost at Tranmere in a televised tie.

“I’ve had some great times as a player and in management,” Graeme said. “I didn’t realise how long we’d been at Chi! There are so many people at the club who have worked so hard to get it where it is.

“ When we arrived we only knew one player – Josh Clack, who’s become one of my best mates – but we’ve had some really good players there over the years and have kept the squad quite settled.

“Everyone talks about the FA Cup run, and it was great, with all the build-up and the media attention we got.

“But I’ll always remember winning the county league (SCFL premier) the year before. That was quite an achievement and set up everything that’s come since.

“Now the club have the new 3G pitch they have facilities will enable them to keep growing and I know they will.”

City presently sit in the final play-off place – fifth – and have every chance of making the end-of-season knockouts.

Graeme is willing them on from afar but warns it could be difficult for them to stay in that top five.

"It’s a tall order for us to get into the play-offs but if we do, I know no other side will want to play us.”

As City’s players go into the sharp end of the season, they may not have Graeme issung instructions in the dressing room and technical area, but they will know he is following every game – and probably still having an influence on selection and tactics.

And it might just be that knowing that will give them an extra edge.