Opinion: New play by award-winning Worthing author

What do say when you answer the door to a man you’ve never met before? Especially when you’ve known him for 30 years? And how about discovering your husband of fifty years is not who you thought he was?

True story: Back in the mid-nineties I meet a guy. He’s out of my league but there’s something about him – a sensitivity / vulnerability / lack of confidence? – that makes me take a chance. So I give him my number and a week later he calls. We meet for a drink and - long story short - we’re still together (now both in our 70s) after thirty-two years.

Happy ever after? Well, yes & no. Because in one sense – one very real sense - we’ve never been together at all. Because this guy (there’s always a catch, no?) was married. With Kids. And still is.

After all this time, I know just about everything there is to know about his life and family. You name it, I know it. But, as far as we can tell, they know nothing about me. Not even that I exist. Not even that the man they know and love – my partner and their husband/father/ grandfather - is gay.

So, what would happen if my partner died? How would I know? Would anyone tell me? Or want to? Or even know where to find me? LEARNING HOW TO DIVE imagines this very situation and tells the story of how a grieving son discovers the truth about his dad’s sexuality and confronts his long-term lover.

We tried out a version of the first Act in 2025 and people liked it. A lot. But they wanted to know more. About the wife. So we added a second Act that tells her story – of what she knew and when she knew it - and wonders why we still live in a world where fear can stop us telling the truth – both to ourselves and those we love.

The show had a sold-out two-week run at London’s White Bear Theatre in February 2026, garnering 4 & 5 star reviews across the board. Read them at https://damncheek.co.uk/productions/learning-how-to-dive/

A tender but unflinching look at the messy complexity of love, lies, loss & sexuality, LEARNING HOW TO DIVE tells the story of three people facing the reality of what it means to truly know someone:

Apart from me – now resident in Worthing after 30+ years in Brighton & Hove - the cast includes two other actors, Darren Cheek (Regional Rep, West End) & Brighton-based Karen Spicer (Red Ladder, Graeae) directed by Willie Elliott (Gay Sweatshop, Red Shift) – that’s a combined age of 250 and nearly 150 years’ experience of making theatre with & for underrepresented audiences!

When & Where

Saturday October 24th @ 7.30pm / Sunday October 25th @ 5pm                      

The Lantern Theatre                      77 St James' St, Kemptown, Brighton BN2 1PA 01273 818266

Tickets are £18 / £14 (concessions) available at      https://lanterntheatrebrighton.co.uk/listings-new/