After-school clubs in Worthing: Trying to be the perfect parent by loading up on extra-curricular activities

Not to do a disservice to my parents, who were very good parents when I was younger, by the way (and still are great) – but modern parenting seems to require you to do more than when I was a kid.

What I’m talking about specifically this week is extra-curricular activities. There’s no official mums and dads rule book that I know of (unless they forgot to give my my parenting code when I left the hospital?), but it’s common knowledge among parents on the playground that it’s just not enough to manage balancing working with taking children to and from nursery and school while also fitting in running a home, helping the children with their homework, taking them to parties, organising weekend outings and host of other things like GP appointments and shopping trips that help life to function on a day-to-day basis.

Because on top of this already-dizzying array of tasks, there is an expectation that you will take your children to after-school clubs and groups, to ensure they turn into a well-rounded individual with essential life skills such as tap dancing, playing the cello and tending to a herbaceous border (some artistic licence may have been applied here, no offence intended to dancing, musical gardeners worldwide).

Admitting you have a free afternoon after the school pick-up is a bit taboo. As you saunter home to put YouTube videos of people making slime on the television (I mean further your child’s learning about polygons, of course), you can almost imagine people wondering what kind of parent would leave a few hours spare just to relax when their young protege could be captaining a school sports team or learning Mandarin.

We’ve always done at least one club, but not to be outdone or left behind, suddenly we’re up to four. The most recent addition is swimming. It’s been a sporadic after-school activity for years, with periods of lesson-going ebbing and flowing as my tolerance for sitting on the sidelines and sweating profusely in the humidity was gradually reached on several occasions.

I’m planning to stay the distance this time, because I’m quite concerned your child’s ability to swim is directly related to your playground approval score, and I don’t want to find my invites to post drop-off coffees and playdates dry up because I’m the lazy mum of the non-swimmer.

Have you read: About the Saharan dust in the UK today?

But that’s not to say it’s easy, because making sure you’re prepared is of paramount importance. Don’t turn up without goggles like I did on the first week, as you’ll be hit with a £13.95 fee for a pair (are they gold-plated?!). And wearing tights is ill-advised seeing as you have to take your shoes off as a spectator, as I found out to my soggy-feet cost. Then there’s the copious snacks and entertainment I have to provide for my youngest, to distract him from the fact his mean mummy isn’t taking him into the pool, too. Basically, you need to pack everything, kitchen sink included in case the showers are busy.

And don’t get me started on getting your child dry and wrestling them back into their clothes in a changing room hotter than Dubai in summer which definitely doesn’t have room to swing a cat in. But, I’m doing it. And all being well my child will be a self-sufficient swimmer soon. Just in time for me to start taking child number two...

I was out again at the weekend. This time to the Escape Bar (formerly Tangerine for the old-schoolers out there) for a school mum friend’s birthday party. It was so much fun dancing along to club classics from when I was younger. But unlike the good old days, 2022 me woke up the next day with really painful hips. Nothing like an ailment to bring you back to the present day and remind you that you’re 40!