Call for more male volunteers to support children in care

There are around 1000 children in the care system in West Sussex, and many of them lack the wider support network that their peers might take for granted.

For hundreds of children in the county, there is no grandparent to call, no family friend to cheer them on from the sidelines, and no trusted adult to spend time with away from home.

Through West Sussex County Council's Independent Visitor scheme, volunteers step into that gap, offering the kind of consistent friendship, encouragement and one-to-one attention that children need when they have undergone a lot of change or trauma.

However, their volunteer base is 80% women, and with more boys than girls in care, the team running the scheme are looking for more men to sign up.

Kerry Wood is the Independent Visitor team manager; she said:

“Being in care can be isolating, especially if there have been geographical moves and new schools.

Often an Independent Visitor is the most consistent person in a young person’s life, and together they take part in a range of activities, the kind of things you might do with a niece or nephew or Godchild.

Sometimes they might go to a café and play board games, or they might go to a football match together – watching Crawley Town is often a favourite – they might go for a walk along Chichester Canal or go to the park.

We need more male volunteers. Lots of our boys want someone to kick a football around with, or they have great engineering brains and would like a visitor with the same interests.”

There are children all over West Sussex in need of independent support and friendship, and Ms Wood said that whilst all volunteers go through a rigorous selection process, they do not need to have previous experience working with children.

Current volunteers come from a range of backgrounds; some are former police officers and airline pilots, whilst a number are former CEOs who are looking for a way to give back after corporate careers.

Anna Mills has been volunteering as an Independent Visitor for two years. She said she was inspired to take part by a friend who knew someone who had signed up and was really enjoying it:

“I was looking for something new that didn't take up too much time but allowed me to work with young people. I've never really known much about the care system and the more I've learnt, the more I want to do to help and support.”

Like all Independent Visitors, she has been carefully matched with a child who shares similar interests and, crucially, asked for an adult visitor.

Mrs Mills said whilst she was initially nervous about building a relationship with a child in care, the time they have spent together has been very rewarding:

“I remember the first time we went out together; I was terrified. Suddenly being alone and feeling responsible for this person who I didn’t know very well at all.

But we had such an amazing day, and I love being able to share the things I love with them and to learn about what they like and enjoy.

It’s all the small things that really make an impact, like the first time they nudged into me for comfort, or being able to support them through times when things at home or school are tough.

It's nice learning the little details about them and making them feel valued. We have a tradition that each year, I'll ask what type of cake they would like and then try to bake it; this year was a 3D scooter - I'm slightly dreading next year!”

Every child in care has a statutory right to an Independent Visitor, and Kerry Wood believes the role the volunteers play in a child’s life is immense:

“The Independent Visitors do what they say on the tin. They are independent from all the professionals children in care encounter.

Unlike social workers and teachers, they choose to visit as volunteers. When we talk to young people, they tell us how important it is to have a person there, just for them.

They are important relationships that build up over time. We had a letter recently from a nine-year-old boy, who went with his visitor to watch a football match. He wrote that when he got home, he just went and lay on his bed to think about the wonderful time they’d had together.”

Ms Wood said one older boy in care wrote about his relationship with his independent visitor as part of his English GCSE.

Anna Mills is adamant that the joy is two-way: “It's a great opportunity to get out and do all the fun things again.

Because they get to choose activities, I go outside my comfort zone - like going on rollercoasters. We learnt together that they are great, and both of us screaming together was so much fun.

It's a good reminder for me to prioritise the smaller things; I learn to slow down and take time to really enjoy the moment.

It's lovely how the small things feel like such big wins, and the pride you can feel watching them grow in confidence is immense.”

Every year more children enter the care system in West Sussex and, with more boys than girls currently in care, the service is particularly keen to hear from men willing to become a consistent presence in a young person's life.

The scheme is open to children aged eight to 18, with volunteers asked to commit to meeting regularly with a child for at least two years. The hope is simple: that what begins as a few hours together every month grows into a trusted relationship that lasts well beyond childhood.

On the 16th and 18th November, the Independent Visitor team will hold information days for potential volunteers. To find out more, contact Kerry Wood via email: [email protected].