Baby Loss Awareness Week: Hassocks mother fundraises to support grieving Sussex parents

October 15 marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day to honour babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, ectopic pregnancy, and newborn death.

For 31-year-old Beth Cooper from Hassocks, the day holds deep personal meaning but she feels that people often misunderstand what it truly means to those who have lost a child

"We don't need a particular day to remember our children”, she said. “We think about them every second of every day. We think about who they would be, how old they would be, what they would be doing and all the things we should have been sharing with them.

"For me, this day is about making sure other people remember them, too.

"It's about being able to say our babies' names, talk about their lives and acknowledge the enormous space they leave behind without feeling that we have made somebody uncomfortable by bringing them up.”

As part of Baby Loss Awareness Week, October 9-15, Beth is fundraising to create 50 comfort boxes for families in Sussex who have experienced baby loss, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or another type of loss.

She is now just over £250 away from reaching her target.

"I know a box can't take away someone's grief, but I hope it can offer a little comfort and remind a family that somebody, somewhere, is thinking of them at a time when they might feel completely alone”, said Beth.

"I would love to grow this project and reach many more families in the future.”

During her pregnancy, Beth attended hospital four times because she was concerned about reduced movements. Therefore, when Felix was stillborn on Christmas Day 2022, she found it incredibly difficult to reconcile what had happened due to the care she had received and the concerns she raised.

As she started to navigate what had happened, she became involved with Truth for Our Babies and met other Sussex families who had their own deeply difficult experiences of maternity care. Hearing their stories made her realise that what she was experiencing wasn’t something she was facing alone.

There were so many families asking questions, seeking answers, and wanting their experiences to be properly heard.

She then became one of the families campaigning for a Donna Ockenden review into maternity care in Sussex.

Beth spoke on how being part of that campaign has had a huge impact on her and ultimately played a big part in the creation of the community project, Felix’s Flame.

To mark Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, families across the country will light candles in remembrance.

“Tonight, I'll light a candle for Felix and for all the babies who should still be here. I'll think about all the families lighting candles in their windows, holding their babies' photographs or simply trying to get through another day without the child they miss so desperately.

“I used to light a candle and think I could never imagine being one of those parents. Now I am one of them.

“Nothing will ever make losing Felix okay. But if I can keep his name alive, help another parent feel less alone or play a part in making things better for families who come after us, then I will do everything I can.

"I can't change my son's story, but I can try to make a difference because of it. And I hope that, in some small way, that will always be part of his legacy.”

To help Felix’s flame build a comfort box visit: https://www.zeffy.com/en-GB/donation-form/help-us-fill-a-comfort-box