Capturing the tough reality of family caregiving - new film in Uckfield

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Capturing the tough reality of family caregiving, a new film Lost Memories is on the road on a UK tour taking the Victoria Pavilion, Victoria Pleasure Ground, New Town, Uckfield this October.

It offers a multi-screen video installation that draws on screenwriter Gary Thomas’ experience of being a carer to his mother Nancy, who had Alzheimer’s Disease. Combining documentary phone footage with dramatised sequences, Gary’s film installation – lasting just under half an hour – offers a moving and poignant insight into his lived experience as a caregiver: “I think it started around 2015 and 2016 but my mum was formally diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in 2018.

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"We knew something was wrong before then and I was becoming a carer for her more and more and was able to do less and less work. I've always lived at home. I didn't have to move or anything but what happened was that being a caregiver became my job in a way. We didn't really have a diagnosis for a couple years so we were just trying to cope but the caregiving did kind of come naturally to me.

"As I say, I've always lived at home and it just felt like another step in our relationship to become her full-time carer. It was a couple of years before the pandemic and then she went into a care home in 2021. She died at the age of 82.

Gary Thomas - Gary and his mum on holiday in 2018Gary Thomas - Gary and his mum on holiday in 2018
Gary Thomas - Gary and his mum on holiday in 2018

“I'm quite proud of what I did. It was a natural thing but it was also quite demanding and it was also exhausting, and I don't think you realise how exhausting it is at the time. When you are in it you just find a way to carry on but fortunately my mother was always a very independent person even with the Alzheimer’s and we had always had a close relationship and even to the end she knew who I was. I was looking for a project that I could do at home and I had had lots of success with the Arts Council who have been really good.

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"What I thought originally was that I had lots of photos and video footage and the idea was to make a film of just that but I got rejected. But David Parker came on board as producer and the Fabrica gallery in Brighton came on board and our second application was successful. I think what it shows is the highs and lows of being a carer.

"It's like an intimate portrait of caring which is obviously specific to me and people have reacted very positively. My mother ran a charity and we show clips from a concert that she organised and then you cut to her in hospital but it also shows moments when we're on holiday which are quite funny. It shows the reality of caring and how hard it is but it also shows the moments that are not hard. She always loved music and that was something we shared.”

The installation will feature personal diary extracts, real phone footage and dramatised sequences. The display will be spread across a three-screen installation, which audiences will be able to walk through. To honour carers across the UK, Gary is inviting people to submit either 500 written words or a video diary, detailing their experience of being a carer. These accounts will be incorporated into the film installation at a later date.